A Flash of Fire
by llLethell
Summary: Merlin is tired of hiding his magic but when the time comes that it is revealed by accident, it might turn out to be the biggest mistake of his life. Now Merlin doesn't know if his and Arthur's friendship is to fall to ashes or be reborn from them.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin. If I did... oh ho, the changes I would make to season 5 (more on that at the bottom)**

**A/N- Yes I am alive! Thank Paralelsky for this cause this is her birthday present :) Happy Birthday, Doc! **

**Also, this takes place after the season 3 finale so there are no spoilers for season 5.  
**

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Two hours after sunset left the castle halls relatively empty. Merlin strode through the corridors just shy of dragging his feet. Since no one was around, the warlock felt free to not crowd his face with a smile. He made a stoic figure drifting through the halls, not at all looking like a proper servant. _That's right_, Merlin thought inanely, _the silly servant got up on the wrong side of bed this morning. Shocking. _A sigh heralded his way up a narrow and winding staircase.

As he climbed with Arthur's breakfast tray balanced on his arm, Merlin knew this was more than a simple passing mood. A dark cloud had been hovering behind him for a while now- since the day he had been born really. Merlin had felt its presence since before he could remember. He had only got better at dealing with it. Now though, the pressure of hiding his magic was becoming too heavy for him to handle.

The warlock had fended off a breakdown for a few weeks, with a false hope that had been whittled away each time Morgana remained unfound and stayed that way. The whole year had been a fight, as well as the one before that when Uther was trying to find the missing Morgana. And the one before that which ended in tragedy for two people he cared deeply about. It was disturbing to Merlin how well he could cast something out of his mind, but eventually it became natural and another task he numbly carried out. The trick was always being busy and never allowing himself the time to relax. For that was stillness, and stillness led to despair.

Merlin remembered with a frown that people were starting to notice as well. Gaius often complained he was too thin, Arthur complained that he was too good of a servant, Gwen complained that he was too quiet, Lancelot complained that he wasn't himself, and Gwaine complained about everything. Their attention felt too much like pity so he let their concern pass him by, which perhaps was rather rude in the way he executed it, but caring seemed an activity that was harder and harder to accomplish. Ever since Morgana had stolen the throne. She had loved Camelot, but no longer cared for the people she once held dear. And Merlin could not help but fear that his path would follow hers the longer his magic remained a secret.

Merlin let out a loud sigh in an effort to chase away his dark mood. "Grow up, Merlin," he hissed to himself. "Just shut up."

A breath of laughter then escaped his lips upon wondering what Arthur would think if he heard Merlin tell himself to shut up. Have a conniption most likely. Merlin winced- Arthur would be angry his breakfast was late. Perhaps the prince would still be sleeping though.

He came up to Arthur's chambers wearing a frown which deepened when he reached the door. He looked down at his left arm which was still in a sling. When Morgause had flung him into the wall two months ago, his left arm had been broken quite badly and had still not fully recovered. He was at least grateful that the cast was gone. Only it was a bit tricky to open doors when his good arm was occupied. He supposed he could have used magic to heal it fully by now, but he didn't feel like bothering. He managed the door even without magic and it was just his luck that Arthur was awake when Merlin opened the door. The servant blinked at his master who was staring right at him from the table. Reports were strewn in front of Arthur but he started clearing them once the door was closed again. It took Merlin a moment to come to his senses but he was able to pin a smile onto his face for the prince.

"Morning, Arthur," he greeted energetically.

The prince eyed him strangely before casting whatever thoughts he was having aside. "Get up on the wrong side of bed this morning?" he drawled.

Arthur was the subject of a genuine smile from his servant who wasn't feeling as lonely all of a sudden. "As a matter of fact..."

"Hmm," Arthur grunted while leaning backward to make room for his food. "Well it's been one too many times this week. I don't want a mopey wake up call every morning."

Despite his dark mood, Arthur was unknowingly managing to cheer him up. "That is of course if I am up before you at all," Merlin noted.

"Well I thought that was a given."

Merlin smirked at him and placed down the tray, stealing a small sausage as he did so. Arthur scowled at him but only rolled his eyes. As the prince dug in to his breakfast, his generosity chased Merlin's bad mood away. The servant smiled and chose to engage his friend in idle chat as he tidied the chambers. His voice bounced in the room along with him and a familiar ease settled on the two men. Arthur's eyes flicked up to Merlin and before long the tension in his brow relaxed. Merlin was informing Arthur of the gossip he heard around the castle when he looked out the window. "All the servants seem to like them, but nobles are a different story. Percival is the less complained about, I think because he looks scary."

The prince nodded thoughtfully at this. "They still need to prove themselves to the rest of Camelot. I'm sure they will fit in eventually..."

As Merlin opened the window to wipe the outside panes, movement drew his eye down into the courtyard. The dazzling sun gleaming off the window and into his face made him squint his eyes but he clearly could see several horses being readied in the courtyard. His and Arthur's included.

"...I mean,_ I_ hardly know them yet," the prince continued around a stuffed mouth. Merlin could decipher his words due to practice. "They helped to save Camelot though so th-"

"Arthur?" Merlin interrupted and pointed outside to draw his attention. "Our horses are in the courtyard."

Arthur swallowed his mouthful and looked to the window with a pleased nod. His eyes found Merlin's confused ones and he explained. "We are going for a patrol."

"What?" The word burst from Merlin's lips. "But I haven't-"

"Relax, _Merlin_," Arthur sighed and waved his concern away, "I made arrangements with a servant to get them ready. I thought you could use a rest since you looked ready to faint last night."

The warlock blinked at Arthur. "Oh. Well..." Merlin was momentarily stumped for words. He looked at his friend with a raised eyebrow. "Are you feeling alright? Because you're acting very strange."

"I could say the same to you," Arthur stated pointedly. Merlin fought not to straighten and was relieved when the prince carried on. "Anyway, I'm bringing Lancelot and Percival so they can get to know Sirs Edward and Timond. They are well respected so if everything goes well, the rest should follow."

"In theory," Merlin felt the need to say.

Arthur threw him a familiar look, one that only made the warlock grin nowadays. "Yes, Merlin, in theory."

Merlin thought of a question he almost voiced and his lips quirked. "This was Gwen's idea wasn't it?"

"Go get ready," Arthur said in answer, "we will be back in Camelot tomorrow morning and I want to leave as soon as possible. Perhaps when we get back my father will be feeling well enough to resume his duties."

The hope was a futile one since Uther was unstable at best- most of the times he resided in his rooms in a near catatonic state but others he would become paranoid and unleash his fury and fear on anyone available. Choosing not to remind Arthur of that fact, Merlin groaned. "Alright, alright I'm going," he said and headed toward the door. "You know, you could have told me," he added airily.

"Take this," Arthur called just as Merlin passed him. The warlock turned and stared at the plate Arthur motioned to. A piece of untouched almond encrusted bread and the apple were still waiting on the plate.

"Okay," Merlin said and settled to wait for Arthur to finish his breakfast.

The blonde man rolled his eyes and pushed the tray away from him. "Now"

Merlin's dark eyebrows scrunched together. "But you're not finished."

"Your powers of observation continue to outstand," Arthur mentioned blandly.

The warlock snorted. "I could say the same to you," Merlin threw back at Arthur with more venom than he intended. He nearly froze at his mistake but luckily Arthur chalked his response up to being immature and read nothing into it.

"I'm full. Give it to the dogs for all I care," Arthur said.

Merlin took the tray but studied Arthur only half in jest. "Should I get Gaius?" The prince only sighed loudly and shooed him away. "I'll just pack a big lunch shall I?" Merlin moved away but before he opened the door he turned back to look at the prince. Arthur met his gaze curiously and Merlin smiled timidly before leaving. Arthur knew that he liked the bread. As Merlin hurried to the kitchens to drop off the breakfast tray and gather provisions for the patrol, he ate the remains of Arthur's breakfast. The task would have been rather difficult without use of his arm but his magic was just as good as one. The warlock wasn't particularly hungry but not eating it seemed almost an insult even though Arthur would never know if he did or not. Merlin could not resist a sad sigh from drifting out his lips.

Ever since they reclaimed Camelot from Morgana two months ago, Arthur had been angry. The woman he thought of as a sister betrayed him and his father could no longer rule. But even angry, hurt, and worried, he still _tried_ not to take it out on Merlin- a fact which took the warlock off guard. He even seemed to be going out of his way to treat Merlin well. Almost as if he was afraid Merlin would leave too. So Merlin ate the piece of bread and apple and was pleased when he did not feel sick afterward. The warlock had not felt hunger in quite a while and putting food in his stomach only served to make him feel a bit queasy. But not today so Merlin took that as a good sign.

Wanting to do something for Arthur, Merlin decided to stop off at the armoury after the trip to the kitchens. By the time he collected everything and made it to the courtyard, everyone was waiting for him. Lancelot was standing by his horse and sent Merlin a wave. Beside him, Percival smiled in greeting. Arthur was already on his bay mare and looked ready to reprimand Merlin for being late. But as he laid eyes on Merlin, he shut his mouth and raised an eyebrow.

The servant was hurrying towards them with five saddle bags slung across his right shoulder, each jostling his back and front as he walked. When he reached them, Merlin grinned brightly and greeted the five knights before him. Sirs Edward and Timond nodded to him, an event that would have been shocking before Merlin helped reclaim Camelot. Both men were formidable warriors and different in their own way. Timond was shorter than Merlin and making up for his similar stature with agility. Edward on the other hand was tall and broad, his shaved head contributing to his tough exterior. Merlin sent a smile to them and hurried to attach the saddlebags he was carrying to his horse. Lancelot wandered over and helped the servant, earning a bright smile and a thank you. As Merlin secured the last one, he looked up at the resigned Arthur.

"I brought some hunting things," Merlin informed the prince.

"Merlin, this is a patrol," Arthur said slowly.

"Yes and if you happen to shoot a helpless animal on the way back, you still did your job," Merlin proclaimed happily. All of the knights exchanged amused looks while the servant hauled himself into the saddle.

Arthur waited until Merlin's back was turned before smiling and sent his horse into a trot when Merlin reigned in beside him. "Is this a sign that you are turning into a man, Merlin?" Arthur asked amusedly once they were outside the courtyard.

Merlin threw him a sidelong glance. "I just thought you needed something to help you relax," Merlin explained.

"Ah, so no then," Arthur sniped, "don't worry, I'm sure the day will come soon."

Merlin's eyes widened and he made to glare at the prince but since Arthur was too busy laughing, he increased his mare's pace to move ahead. Arthur was content to rib him until they emerged out of the gates. By then the warlock had tuned the prince out so his voice was nothing but an obnoxious hum. Merlin pulled his horse to a stop and looked around at the fields. Travellers were still flowing into the city, most with goods to sell or barter with. Some appeared to recognize Arthur and stood talking in hushed tones while staring in their direction. Merlin took a closer look and realized they were townspeople.

Arthur had his horse stop slightly in front of Merlin's and nodded to the gaping citizens with graceful ease. "Did you even hear a word I said?" Arthur asked haughtily.

"Nope," said Merlin, "where are we going anyway?"

Arthur let out an annoyed sigh. "Toward the south west. We are heading toward the White Mountains before taking Rabard's Path and circling around." He glanced back to the knights before leading the way down the road. Peasants cleared to the sides and children pointed to their number.

Merlin tilted his head in confusion and followed the prince. "But didn't-" he fell silent momentarily when Arthur sent him a swift glare. Merlin adjusted his voice to a lower volume and continued. "-Leon patrol that exact route yesterday?"

Arthur nodded his blonde head. "He did. And that is why we won't encounter any problems. I want nothing to go wrong these next two days."

Merlin handed him a stern glance. "But something always goes wrong."

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**There's the first chapter for all you fine folk! And yep, this is a full on reveal fic. Really hope you guys and Paralelsky like it :) It's for fun! **

***crackes fingers* Ranting time! Skip over if you haven't seen season 5 cause spoilers abound. Kay, first two episodes were pretty awesome though I have issues with Aithusa- Merlin not taking responsibility for something he brought into the world really annoyed me, I don't think the writers should have made that call (poor Aithusa). Third ep was really good, seeing Uther again rocked. But why was he all of a sudden evil? That just didn't make sense. And the fourth was awesome, Mithian was cool. Now it's just a debate of Mithian/Merlin or Sefa/Merlin. Cause Sefa was really cool too. And the fifth. Oh the fifth. Very frustrating but it's my favourite episode of the season- I am going to say **_**that**_** was the opportune moment... missed. They had better have something absolutely epic for the actual reveal because they raised my expectations through the roof. And Mordred! I really like him. So kudos to Alexander Vhalos. The last episode was good but it was kinda out of left field. Poor Gwen always gets enchanted. All in all the episodes are amazing so far but my biggest issues are the fact that Merlin has changed so much and I don't think for the better. I hope that when the magic is revealed and Arthur accepts it, that Merlin will become more like himself again. And I just want their friendship to be more equal. It's about time. Ok I'm done now. **

**Again, I hoped you guys liked the little intro and you stay tuned for the next chapter. Please review! It's my birthday too :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer- I don't own BBC Merlin. I, however, **_**should**_**. I can't believe it's ending just like that. Stupid. I'm going to be grumbling about it forever. And ever. Until the end of time. **

**A/N- I'M SO SORRY! School has been the monsters of all monsters, I haven't got a chance to put this up. Don't worry, I won't leave you guys hanging as long for the next one. **

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews, everyone! I love reading them :)**

**Beta-ed by the ever helpful Paralelsky! Thanks, Doc!  
**

**Enjoy!**

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By nightfall, Arthur was pleased to see that Merlin remained wrong and was happy to remind him when they stopped to make camp. The servant rolled his eyes up to the sinking sun and did not deign Arthur's comment with a reply. Instead, he chose to lope over to Lancelot and complain to him. The knight grinned and did his best not to laugh at what Merlin said, very carefully not looking in Arthur's direction.

The prince ignored them, but his rumbling stomach reminded him of something very important. "Merlin!" he called, "hurry and get supper ready. We're all hungry."

"Of course, your lordship," Merlin pretended to grovel, and turned back to his horse. The warlock was mindful of Arthur's stare on his back as he tried unsuccessfully to open the saddle bag. He groaned when he finally accomplished the task and realized that it was the wrong one.

"Here, allow me to help," Lancelot's voice came from beside him.

Merlin looked to his friend and smiled. "No, it's alright, I can... never mind." He chuckled as the knight produced a pot from the right saddle bag. Lancelot made Merlin order him around and between them, they had a stew starting to bubble in the pot.

Arthur and the rest of the knights had set out their bed rolls on the uneven ground. Their spot was not the most comfortable, but the thickly packed trees outside their tiny clearing provided shelter from the gaining wind. The grey sky overhead promised a cool night but luckily the breeze lacked a damp bite. Percival sauntered over from where he was seated close by and took a hearty sniff.

"Smells good," he told them.

Merlin smiled in a pleased manner. "Well, it's ready now. I'll get the bowls," he informed the muscular knight. As he went to retrieve them from the log Lancelot had placed them on, he caught Arthur's eye. The prince brightened and made his way over to the cook pot. When Merlin returned, the blonde man was the first to take a bowl.

"Sometime today, Merlin," he groused as the servant passed the bowls to each of the knights.

"Why, if I didn't know better I'd say you were hungry, Arthur," Merlin grinned.

"I think we all are," Timond said when Merlin handed the last bowl to him. The man's dark eyes flitted between the stew and Arthur impatiently.

The warlock wasn't sure if he would appreciate a comment so he only gave a small laugh and headed toward the cook pot. He handed each knight a generous helping and there was still more than enough for himself, were he hungry for it.

All of the knights settled into eating, so their small campsite was silent. Merlin decided to get his own bed roll set up before he ate, but was stumped when he headed to his horse he spotted that there were six already laid out on the forest floor. His own was of noticeably lesser quality and easy to see where it was beside the prince's. Merlin looked back and met the satisfied gaze of Percival. The warlock grinned in thanks before doubling back to the knights.

Sir Edward started up the conversation as Merlin absently stirred the last of the stew inside the pot.

"I'm surprised that there wasn't any trouble," the knight noted in his deep voice. Merlin fought not to smirk.

"Why is that?" Lancelot wondered and unfortunately caught the smile Merlin was trying to hide. He glanced quizzically at his friend before returning his attention to the other knight.

"Rabard's Path usually has at least one bandit. A highwayman or...something," Edward explained.

"Lucky for us then," Arthur mused and ignored Merlin's sly glance.

Timond finished his mouthful before adding, "There is still tomorrow though."

"Ever the optimist," Edward muttered under his breath.

Lancelot smiled and looked back up to Merlin who was still standing by the cook pot. He blinked and stopped smiling, choosing to bob the bowl in his hands. The warlock received the hint and ladled himself out a small amount, testing how his arm was healing by using it to hold the bowl. It gave a dull ache which eased when he grabbed it with his other hand.

"If we are talking like that, there's still tonight," Percival's voice rumbled quietly.

His comment earned a small laugh from everyone except Arthur. "We are going to stop this line of conversation now," he told them and his eyes landed on Merlin when the servant sat across from him and next to Lancelot. "Merlin! What hunting supplies did you bring?"

Merlin thought for a moment. "Cross bows, that leather thing, and some traps if you decide to use them. We can get the cross bows now, just in case we get unwanted visitors during the night."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Shut up and eat, Merlin."

The warlock smiled mischievously at Lancelot and dug into his food as ordered. Lancelot chose to oblige Arthur and started another topic of conversation which Merlin only paid half an ear to. The knights seemed to be getting along just fine, a fact which Arthur seemed quietly smug about. Everyone except Merlin got up to get seconds and Lancelot didn't seem pleased with Merlin not eating as much as normal.

The knight's disapproval did not bother Merlin much, with nearly two months of practice under his belt. He settled with making a face at the knight to get him to lighten up. It seemed to work slightly but Lancelot still kept an eye on him. He was very aware that he was being watched, so it as a relief when he felt a chill breeze drift through their campsite and linger in the air.

Merlin looked through the trees and up to the sky before saying, "I'd better get some more wood. Feels like it's going to get cold tonight."

"I'll help you," Lancelot volunteered.

A flicker of annoyance flashed within Merlin's mind but he grinned disarmingly. "Thanks!"

Both of them rose from their spots on the ground and headed to the nearby trees with a parting glance for their comrades. The dense treetops overhead filtered the fading sun into shadow then deepened the further they went. Neither man spoke and the sound of their feet crunching through the underbrush filled the strained silence.

Only when they were out of sight of the others did Lancelot speak. "You didn't eat much for dinner."

Merlin glanced back at his friend and refrained from sighing. "I'm not hungry." He stooped and pried a thick branch from under the leaves, balancing it in the crook of his elbow.

The knight was unappeased. "You didn't eat much for lunch either."

Merlin stopped and pinned Lancelot with a look he hoped would end the conversation. His frustration from earlier was back. "I ate a lot for breakfast," he lied and immediately turned around, busying himself with the task of getting more firewood.

"Merlin," Lancelot admonished. His tone was not angry, but tired and worried.

The warlock felt a twinge of guilt but still did not turn around. "I'm just not hungry," Merlin repeated with significantly less patience.

"You need to eat," Lancelot insisted and trudged closer to him.

"I know that," Merlin grumbled. He picked up his pace to get away from Lancelot but the knight stalked after him.

Merlin employed a different tactic and tried to ignore him. The warlock crouched amongst the dead and fallen leaves to reach for a dry looking piece of bark that was resting beside an old birch tree. With only one arm to spare, he had to keep his limb still and tug with his fingers.

"Tell me again why you can't heal your arm?" Lancelot inquired.

Merlin shrugged and spoke to the trees. "Everyone saw the break. I can't just wake up one day with it all better now can I?"

Lancelot trudged closer but Merlin skirted away. "But it pains you. Surely you can heal it and pretend it's still broken," the knight pressed.

Merlin exhaled an irritated breath. "I've told you before, Lancelot, it's too risky."

Lancelot's footfalls halted and his voice was slightly raised. "It's not and you know it. Merlin, why-"

"Get that branch for me will you?" Merlin asked him loudly and marched back the way he came, studiously avoiding eye contact.

Lancelot pressed his lips together but grabbed the branch that Merlin pointed to. He yanked it free from the fallen tree it was attached to and stalked after his friend, unwilling to leave him alone yet again.

"Are we going to talk about what has been bothering you?" Lancelot called.

"Nothing has been bothering me," Merlin snapped and looked up in aggravation, still not facing the knight.

"You've been evading me for weeks," Lancelot said, quite clearly at the end of his never ending patience. "Enough now."

Merlin certainly did have enough. He whirled up and around, throwing his branches to the ground. The sight of Lancelot holding much more firewood in his arms only fanned his anger.

Merlin had to restrain himself from gesturing with his other arm, since he had unwisely used it to throw down the wood. "I don't want to talk about it," Merlin said in a low tone of voice.

"Why not?" Lancelot asked gently.

"It won't change anything!" Merlin yelled. The volume and sudden fury in his tone made Lancelot jump but he was now too angry to care. This had been the exact reason Merlin had been avoiding the knight, knowing that if he had an outlet, he would not be able to hold back.

Lancelot's brow was furrowed together in worry and compassion lighted his dark eyes. "You should get it off your chest, Merlin. Maybe it will help."

"It won't," Merlin said shortly, "why don't you mind your own business?"

Lancelot appeared surprised by his friend's vehemence. "I just want to help."

"Help?" Merlin repeated loudly. "How exactly can you help? Can you find Morgana and Morgause? Can you cure the king? Can you tell Arthur I have magic?"

Lancelot's eyes widened and he looked around panicked. "Merlin!" he hissed.

But the warlock didn't want to listen and only got louder. "Oh better yet, can you make him accept me? Because I'm pretty sure when he finds out he won't be so happy. My best friend has no clue I'm lying to him, and the calls just keep on getting closer every year. Everything is getting worse, and I can't do anything about it. All because I'm stuck! All of you are knights now, you're moving on, but me! No, I have to stay a servant, keep my magic a secret. Always a secret, ever since I was _born_. You can't know how hard it was! I have to lie, all the time! Every time something goes wrong. And I could have saved them! Do you know how many people I could have saved if only Arthur had known? I could- I could have saved Morgana! I could have saved my own father, and Freya, and Will. And everyo-"

"Merlin!" Lancelot clutched Merlin's shoulders. "Stop it, stop!" Merlin snapped his mouth shut and stared at Lancelot with large eyes. "Listen to me, you can't save everyone. You have done all you could and that is more than anyone can ask for. Merlin, you have done amazing things, and you need to remember that."

Merlin swallowed and averted his eyes, discomfiting his friend by suddenly being quiet. "Merlin?" Lancelot called softly.

"I just feel so alone," Merlin confessed in quiet desperation.

Lancelot squeezed Merlin's good shoulder. "Know that I am here for you. Gaius is too. Even Gwaine and Guinevere. _And _Arthur. I have never seen a greater friendship, Merlin. I think you can give Arthur some more credit." Merlin looked back at him and Lancelot saw a trace of hope along with the misery. But then the warlock looked down again and shook his head.

"Arthur hates magic. When he finds out, he'll hate me too," Merlin said.

"You are not magic, Merlin," Lancelot said strongly.

Merlin sent him a sad smile. "We're one in the same."

The knight frowned. "No. You are Merlin. With or without magic, you are who you are."

Merlin shook his head again. "Thanks Lancelot, but you don't understand." He extracted himself from his friend's grip and fled back to the campsite. Lancelot sighed and bent down to retrieve the branches Merlin had thrown down. Soon the warlock's footsteps travelled out of his hearing and Lancelot allowed his shoulders to slump.

When Merlin trudged back to their camp, dark followed close behind. The fire was bright in the pit and casted flickering shadows on Percival who was tending to it. Arthur looked around from beside the knight and peered quizzically at Merlin.

"Where's the wood?" he demanded.

"Lancelot is bringing it," Merlin answered quietly. He sat himself across from Arthur and Percival, nearer to Sir Timond who, along with the other two, eyed him curiously. Edward was already curled up in his bed roll, sleeping again now that he saw it was only Merlin who disturbed his rest. The warlock half expected Arthur to heckle him more but when he looked up Arthur was studying Merlin's arm. He only gave Merlin a look tinged with a little concern, and a lot of chastisement.

"Well I'll go hurry him along while I can still see," Percival said and stood up. He then headed in the direction Merlin came from. The warlock reached for the poker stick Percival had let fall and absently stoked the wood. When the knight disappeared within the trees, Timond glanced at Arthur who was watching Merlin with slightly narrowed eyes. The servant sat with a slightly hunched posture, oddly silent. Timond did not appreciate the awkward silence and rose up with exaggerated cheer.

"I just want to check on my horse before I turn in. You said we are leaving early, sire?" he asked the prince.

"Yes," Arthur answered vaguely.

The knight smiled and hurried to fawn over his grey gelding, leaving the prince and Merlin to themselves. The moment Timond was away, Arthur turned back to his servant. "So what's with the long face?"

Arthur's voice snapped Merlin out of his distracted slump and he blinked. "...Nothing. And I don't have a long face."

"Come now, Merlin, you are not being your usual annoying self." To prove Arthur's point, Merlin ignored him. "Merlin," Arthur intoned. "You know, your arm will never heal if you insist on using it."

The warlock sighed and searched for a reply, but before he voiced it, crunching through the underbrush alerted them to the presence of Lancelot and Percival. Merlin's eyes immediately flew to Lancelot's and both men shifted uncomfortably.

"Finally," Arthur called.

Percival smiled and Lancelot attempted to. "Looks like we arrived just in time."

Despite Merlin's half hearted attempt to prod the fire, it was down to the coals. Both knights placed their armful of branches on the ground and Lancelot set to rebuilding the fire. He offered a smile to Merlin but the warlock avoided his gaze. The tension was palpable between the two causing Arthur and Percival to exchange confused glances.

"So who wants first watch?" Arthur asked to clear the silence.

"I can take it," Lancelot offered.

"I do not mind either, if you a tired, Sir Lancelot," Timond called. He was walking back towards the group and his horse was happily munching on a carrot.

"You can take the next one," Arthur delegated. "As for me, I'm turning in." His tone told Merlin that he just wanted to get away from the tension. The prince vaulted up and stretched before sauntering to his bedroll.

"I suppose I will too," Percival yawned. "Night."

"Sleep well," Lancelot bid. Merlin settled for a nod.

Timond too opted to turn in. He bid everyone goodnight, even Edward who grumbled unhappily. As everyone was settling in, Merlin started to fidget. He stared into the fire to avoid looking at Lancelot. No longer angry, guilt settled under his skin and served to make him more depressed. The warlock did not even want to risk a glance at Lancelot for fear of finding resentment in his eyes. He was a good friend to Merlin and did not deserve Merlin taking out his frustration on him.

An apology remained lodged in his throat, not wanting to be voiced for fear of rejection. Merlin was too lost in his brooding to see that Lancelot was not at all angry at him and only worried. The warlock's eyes remained glued to the fire and in the coals he spotted a shape that reminded him of a bird. How good would it be to be able to fly again? Just to hop on Kilgharrah's wings and take off. Merlin sighed and noticed that the shape was starting to cave in on itself. Sad to see it go, Merlin thoughtlessly reached for it. His eyes glowed with the fire and a small bird made of flames drifted up toward the smoke.

"Merlin!" Lancelot hissed, snapping Merlin out of his stupor. He gasped and realized what he had done. The warlock cleared his throat and stoked the fire with the long stick still held in his hand. In an effort to not glare at the servant, Lancelot casted his eyes casually around the campsite. And he froze when he gazed past Merlin's shoulder. Merlin noticed the sudden stiffness in Lancelot's posture and dread slowly crept into his veins. He dared to look and found the knight staring fixatedly behind him, fear shadowing his eyes.

Merlin snapped his whole body around and stilled upon seeing the prince staring blankly at him. Merlin's sudden movement caused Arthur to whip his sword out of the scabbard he had just lain on the ground beside him. The disturbance woke up Edward and Percival- Timond was standing by his bed roll, gripping the hilt of his sword uncertainly.

A painful silence bled through the clearing, no one daring to utter a sound or move a muscle. Percival and Edward exchanged confused glances but did not speak due to the pressure smothering them. The moon was almost full and its pale light was suspended in the silent clearing. Merlin and Arthur's eyes were anchored to each others for what seemed like an age before Arthur's lips parted.

"No... This cant- you- no."

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**Don't kill me? :) I really hope you guys liked the chapter despite this here cliffhanger. **

**Also... for those of you who don't know, this will be a nasty shock. Merlin's over? WHAT THE FUSS! If there isn't going to be a movie I will be so mad. Livid actually. They have so many loose ends and so much that has to happen before the show ends in just a few more episodes. I don't see how they can have a satisfying ending. Like seriously, this is such a huge disappointment, a let down, a (to use the nice term) GIANT MISTAKE! If the ending isn't satisfactory, and it sadly appears to be looking that way, I will make my opinion heard. **

**Anyway that's enough of that. At least there's fanfiction to do what the writers should have. Not that this is it! This reveal is just for fun. **

**Please leave a review! They make me happy :D **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin**

**A/N- Thank you for the reviews, guys! See I told you I'd have this one up soon :)**

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"Arthur," Merlin whispered and took a wary step forward. The prince stumbled back and stared horrified at Merlin. "Arthur." The prince took another step back, shaking his head desperately. "Arthur please, just let-"

"You're a sorcerer," Timond stated disbelievingly. Edward and Percival were stunned from their silent surprise. Both men reached for their swords, Percival eyeing Lancelot and then the other knights.

Merlin's mouth gaped open and he stared with wide eyes at his hostile companions. He glanced back at Lancelot's and his panic spiked upon seeing his hand over the hilt of his sword, not noticing the man glaring at Edward and Timond.

"You're a sorcerer!" Arthur spat. His voice had Merlin snapping his head around and focusing his gaze on the prince, hurt at finding the hate in his eyes.

"Sire," Merlin tried but his voice hid at the sight of Arthur slashing the air with his sword.

The prince's eyes were bright and his face was red. Merlin felt his anger charge the air. The sight of his closest friend pointing a sword at him caused desperation to claw up his throat. "Arthur, just-"

"How could you?" Arthur interrupted coldly.

"-listen to me," Merlin finished with a calmness stolen from his numb state of being.

Arthur was taking deep breaths through his nose and his eyes were glassy. Merlin could see his closed fists shaking. "Sire?" Edward asked hesitantly.

"Sit down!" Arthur snapped viciously at the knights who only sheathed their swords and took a step back.

The prince's furious gaze had not left Merlin's. "You betrayed me," Arthur hissed.

Shock coursed through Merlin and he felt his face contort with hurt. "I have not!" Merlin said loudly.

"You're a sorcerer!" Arthur bellowed and took an aggressive step forward. The sudden noise caused animals to flee their homes for the night. Trees rustled and an owl hooted in alarm.

Merlin swallowed around the lump swelling in his throat. "I'm still your friend, I have never betrayed you," he appealed to Arthur.

The prince glared in outrage, taking two more angry steps forward. "My friend?" Arthur snapped edgily, "how can you be if you practice magic?" Everyone winced at the volume of Arthur's voice which ripped through their small clearing.

Arthur was not far from Merlin now and the warlock felt Lancelot tense behind him. Merlin stood his ground and stated, "I've been using my magic to protect you ever since I've come to Camelot. I'm not evil."

The prince shook his head hysterically. "Am I supposed to believe that?"

"Yes!" Merlin yelled and he thundered toward Arthur. The blonde man raised his sword to stop Merlin advancing but it did not deter him. If Arthur didn't jerk his sword away and take a step back, Merlin would have impaled himself upon it. "All I've done has been for you!"

"Are you mad?" Arthur shouted and threw down his sword.

"I'm tired!" Merlin threw back at the top of his voice. "Do you think I liked keeping secrets? Do you think I wanted this?"

Arthur threw his arms out incredulously. "You chose to practice magic!"

"I didn't!" Merlin cried, "I was born with it. I _never_ had a choice!"

"You dare lie to me again?" Arthur roared.

Merlin seized Arthur's collar with his hands and shook him. "I'm not!" Pain immediately hit his cheek in the form of Arthur's fist. Merlin crashed to the ground but adrenaline and indignation had him rocketing back off it. He directed a closed hand into Arthur's face and the prince stumbled back. He did not fall and quickly retaliated with another punch which skimmed Merlin's brow. The warlock felt his balance shift but he managed to latch onto Arthur's sleeve and bring him down with him. They both hurtled to the ground and Merlin took advantage of the prince's surprise to try and punch him once more. He missed his target as Arthur lurched out of the way and tackled him around the middle. The wind was knocked out of him and his head was whipped to the side by another punch from Arthur.

Merlin snarled and managed to backhand the prince across the chin but it did not do the trick in getting Arthur off of him. Both of their eyes were filled with an uncontrollable fire. The prince snapped his arm back to deliver another punch but just as his fist was speeding toward him, Merlin's anger, fear and panic burst outward. His eyes flashed gold and Arthur flew backward and into the air. The warlock sprang up just as Arthur hit the ground and his pained grunt snapped Merlin out of his haze.

He felt his face grow pale and the air turn cold. Arthur's angered and disbelieving eyes flew upward to meet his horrified ones. Merlin opened his mouth to try and explain as much as to take in more air but he couldn't get his voice to work. The realization that he used his magic to hurt Arthur shook the very foundations of Merlin's being. He took a step back, and then another. His mind was screaming for him to run. So Merlin turned tail and bolted for the forest, not hearing Lancelot's call. The trees blurred by and stray branches scratched at his clothes as if trying to pull him back. But he had to run. His feet were carrying him away from Arthur, from his life in Camelot, from his friends, and Gaius. Suddenly Merlin was horizontal, having tripping over a tree root and colliding harshly with the ground. He gasped from the abruptness and rose onto his knees, realizing the air was knocked from his lungs. Merlin took in frantic gulps of air but wasn't able to get enough. He braced his hands on the forest floor, his palms scraping against the weeds and roots. Arthur knew. Merlin used magic against Arthur. How could he go on now?

As Merlin unsuccessfully tried to breathe, cold washed over him in a sudden wave and he started to shiver. Tears obscured his sight, and poured out onto his cheeks and down his jaw. As he sobbed breathlessly he dug his nails into his scalp, curling in on himself while still trying to breathe, Merlin realized his world had shattered.

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Arthur was rooted to where he landed when Merlin threw him with magic. He sat stunned, looking at Merlin with his mouth agape. The prince noticed that Merlin looked as shocked as he felt. Merlin's angry flush abandoned his narrow face and was replaced by stark horror. Neither man seemed able to speak, and Arthur could only watch dumbly as Merlin recoiled backwards before bolting for the forest. The prince felt numb as the distance grew between them, and Merlin disappeared in the trees.

"Merlin!" Lancelot's shout startled Arthur and he watched the knight give chase to Merlin. Arthur spent a moment trying to reconnect himself with his limbs, the realization that Merlin was actually gone helping quite a great deal. He vaulted up from the ground and stumbled, trying to clear the anger and hurt from his mind.

"Are you alright my lord?" Edward's voice called quietly though he still surprised the prince.

Arthur turned to the knights swiftly, having forgotten they were there. The three of them stood behind him- Percival, Edward, and Timond, each a superb knight. They should have inspired comfort or some relief but only one thought was diving to the front of his mind. They had seen Merlin use magic. _Merlin_ use magic. And the punishment for sorcery is death.

"None of you will say anything," Arthur told them tersely. His voice was flat and calm, contrasting with his flushed face and quivering hands. "Not a single breath. Nothing happened tonight, are we clear?" The knights stared at him and only Percival nodded. Arthur's eyes were resolute and devoid of any warmth. "I will not be disobeyed and Heaven help you if you do."

Percival, Edward, and Timond nodded and managed a, 'Yes, Sire', all looking like they would never dream of going against Arthur's wishes.

The prince nodded and turned on his heel in the direction Merlin and Lancelot had gone. "I have to bring him back," Arthur said more to himself than the men behind him. The knights did not question him and let him go without a word.

As he delved into the forest, Arthur never thought he could feel so livid. His whole body was shaking and he felt a strange mix of prickly heat and chilling cold envelop him. An odd, indistinct tingling lingered inside his head and blotched in front of his eyes. And he was scared, Arthur knew. Of Merlin and for him. The prince couldn't make sense of it but knew that after everything they've been through, he couldn't just give up. Couldn't let Merlin go. But he didn't know what to do.

His thoughts attacked him without mercy as he travelled the forest. The punishment for sorcery is death. But the thought of Merlin on a pyre was horrifying to Arthur, the image of his skinny servant standing pale above a crowd repulsed him and made him shudder. However the law needed to be obeyed. Arthur couldn't deal with the law now though, he was only capable of dealing with one thing at a time. As he walked, a decision regarding Merlin remained blank in his mind. It was his kingdom, his law, his servant. His friend. His lying¸ vile, traitorous, deceitful, damn well closest friend_. _And also, Arthur realized, his choice.

Merlin had made a clear, haphazard trail through the underbrush which made it easy to follow. With each footstep, both Arthur's drive and fear to find Merlin grew. His feelings swirled around in his head, weaving a fog impossible to sort through. The few minutes he spent searching for Merlin and Lancelot ended abruptly when Arthur heard a sound through the trees. A strange voice that Arthur somehow recognized as Merlin's gasped and choked against the silence. Lancelot's voice also drifted into hearing. The prince stood there listening, suddenly unable to move forward.

His gut clenched. Merlin was heaving in massive gulps of air, sounding as if he was going to run out of breath. Arthur didn't know how he was supposed to feel about Merlin now but knew that he did not want the man dead. But the punishment for sorcery is death. The idea of Merlin killing himself by crying hit too close to the image of his goofy friend. Not a sorcerer. So Arthur drew up his strength in a single breath and tentatively made his way through the trees. He saw them between the foliage, not making a sound but hesitating when he saw Merlin crouched over on the ground.

Lancelot did not seem to not mind the fact that Merlin had magic. He was trying to support the younger man, and making his assurances heard. Merlin was trembling and Arthur saw that his legs were shaking past the point of vibrating.

"Merlin, you need to breathe," the knight said. "Come on, small breaths. Calm down." Lancelot had a stricken expression pinned to his features, clearly distressed to see his friend in such a state. He ran his hand over Merlin's back in an attempt to help him calm down.

The warlock shook his head frantically, trying to duck his head but unable to since Lancelot kept trying to force him upright. A low sounding wail escaped Merlin's lips amidst the frantic gasps before he sobbed, a cross between a gasp and an exhale. "I've ruined-" His breath was once more choked off by his own panic.

Arthur didn't feel like speaking but he had seen enough and was unwilling to watch more. He was not quite prepared for seeing a man fall apart so completely, and knowing it was Merlin splitting at the seams absolutely unnerved him.

"If you faint we will have to carry you back to the campsite," he stated and walked out from the cover of the trees. Their reactions were instantaneous. Merlin jumped like he was burned and Lancelot placed himself in front of the servant. The knight looked conflicted, but fell silent at seeing Arthur without a weapon.

Arthur looked past him to Merlin whose previously heaving chest was noticeably unmoving. The younger man looked the same as he did just a few minutes ago, even his eyes which were back to a recognizable blue. And it made Arthur feel like he had a hole devouring his chest. "You can breathe," the prince said coldly.

Merlin flinched and took a sip of air. He was watching Arthur with impossibly wide eyes, making him feel another spike of anger. He was the one who should be afraid, not Merlin.

Their silence was broken by Lancelot. "Arthur-"

The prince threw up his hand forcibly. Lancelot faltered but chose to fall quiet and stare at Arthur bracingly. He left a hand on Merlin's shoulder though. The warlock was having a hard time meeting Arthur's accusing stare, he was glancing at the ground more often than not.

The prince swallowed and tilted his chin upward to feign control. Seeing him like that, Arthur couldn't believe Merlin was evil. But he did not think he could handle questioning the younger man at the moment for he could barely command himself as it was. "We are going back to Camelot," Arthur said in a quiet voice. Arthur could have Merlin executed or banish him, or lock him away even. Before Merlin and Lancelot could consider the implications, Arthur went on firmly, "and we are going to pretend like nothing has happened." The punishment for sorcery was death.

His declaration was met with silence until Merlin managed to open his mouth. "Ar-"

"Don't!" Arthur seethed, "Don't. Speak." The prince gritted his teeth and gave his head a shake. "We are going back to Camelot and you will be dismissed from my services. Your time will be occupied by helping the court physician and you will not be allowed to leave the city." Giving orders offered Arthur a chance to reclaim his precarious balance, enabling him to ignore his emotions. "Understand?"

Arthur took Merlin's shaky breath as confirmation so he turned around and marched the way he came, fully expecting them to follow. The prince did not look back but knew it was Lancelot who started after him first and coaxed Merlin into walking. Arthur's face was impassive when he arrived back into the clearing. Percival, Edward, and Timond turned from where they were talking in whispers and fell silent. They just stared at Arthur as he approached and then at Lancelot and Merlin when they too broke through the trees.

If Arthur looked back he would have been able to see Merlin visibly wilt but he strode directly to his bed roll. After he reached it, he turned to Lancelot. "He will be questioned back in Camelot but for now, keep him under guard." The knight gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes but otherwise said nothing. Arthur regarded the other three. "We leave at first light."

The knights nodded, seemingly unable to open their mouths. Edward and Timond sent mistrustful glances to Merlin but Percival went and grabbed Merlin's bed roll and brought it to the warlock. Merlin watched the knight approach warily, with Arthur in the fact he did not know if it was an act of disdain. After Percival set it down by Merlin's feet, he patted his shoulder causing the dark haired man to look down in shame.

Percival sensed Arthur's gaze and straightened his back when he met it. "Let's just all get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day." He shared a nod with Lancelot and everyone settled in for the night.

The prince ignored them all and laid his head down with his face turned away from everyone. His eyes were heavy but they remained fixed on the darkness. The fire was crackling warmly in the background and Arthur was reminded of the fiery bird Merlin had conjured in the flames. To shut the image out he let his eyes fall closed, but it had no effect.

He was an idiot. Himself for being lied to by Merlin, which was hard enough to wrap his head around. But he had been fooled and made to look like an idiot. Arthur covered his jaw with his hand. Why had Merlin done it? Magic corrupted, didn't he know that? All Arthur could think of was why. Why he lied, why he practiced magic, why, why, why.

Arthur let out a defeated sigh, suddenly feeling unbearably exhausted. His heavy eyelids fell closed and the thick pressure behind them seceded somewhat. His limbs felt so weighed down that he felt like they could just sink into the earth below. It only took a moment for sleep to drag him under.

* * *

A sliver of amber on the dark horizon announced the arrival of dawn, signalling the time to leave and Arthur was the only one who had slept. Lancelot was the first to rise and he looked over Merlin for the umpteenth time. The warlock kept his pale eyes downcast staring at the same spot he had been looking all night. His carven face was drawn and disheartened.

"Merlin?" Lancelot called quietly. The warlock's eyes dragged hesitantly to him but he finally made eye contact. Lancelot offered a placating smile. "It's first light."

Merlin glanced at the first rays of the rising sun and nodded. Percival and the other knights started to collect their own things and the movement woke Arthur. The prince sat up calmly and after a moment of keeping his gaze on a nearby maple tree, he too gathered himself up. Arthur did not look in Merlin's direction as opposed to Timond and Edward who were sending the peasant uneasy glances.

Lancelot hurried and grabbed the prince's bed roll so Merlin wouldn't have to. He soon had their camp cleaned up and the time had come to mount the horses. Merlin was standing where Lancelot had left him, with hunched shoulders and arms dawn across his middle to make himself appear smaller. The warlock looked surreptitiously at the knights heading to their mounts and at Arthur who was already waiting. When the prince started to turn his head, Merlin cringed and looked away to Lancelot.

The noble knight grabbed his horse and Merlin's before walking to the servant. "Come on," Lancelot said gently, "Everything will be alright, Merlin."

Merlin gave a delayed and half hearted nod before meekly taking the reins from Lancelot's fingers. His right arm was still in the sling which Lancelot noticed was rumpled and stained with dirt. "Is your arm hurt?" Lancelot asked in alarm. Merlin looked up at his horse which snuffed the warlock's forehead with his nose. "Merlin?"

Dreary grey eyes flicked to Lancelot and their owner made no response. Just as Lancelot was going to stride over, Merlin climbed onto his horse and stared at his gelding's mane.

Lancelot let a sigh escape him but reluctantly turned away from his friend. Up ahead, Arthur started forward and the other knights followed. Percival sent a look back to Lancelot who was forced to hurry up onto the saddle. The sandy haired knight watched them and since Merlin was avoiding eye contact with everyone, he did not see the sympathy play out across Percival's features.

He too turned to face ahead and Merlin only followed when Lancelot drew next to him. The warlock looked as if he were going to be sick and his agitation upset Lancelot greatly. He did not feel like anything he could say would make Merlin feel better and that realization made the anger from last night return with a vengeance. Lancelot gritted his teeth and looked ahead at the prince, understanding to a point why Arthur was acting the way he was. But he knew Merlin, and knew how much the young man had been through and given for Arthur. Like Merlin said last night, everything he's done he's done for the prince.

"This will all be fine, you will see," Lancelot said fervently to the younger man. Merlin glanced up at him with a desperate flash in his eyes like he was hanging on to every syllable Lancelot was saying. "You've done so much for him, he cannot discount it and I won't let him. That I promise you. I swear it." He pinned Merlin with a firm stare before looking determinedly forward.

Merlin turned his face away but his lips moved faintly. "Thank you," he murmured.

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**The dreaded reaction... Hopefully you guys think I did it justice. Notice that there's not a cliffhanger :D But next chapter won't be up for a while. Last two weeks of school will occupy my sadly too long waking hours... Le sigh, back to my week from hell. **

**Also, please review! I really want to know what you guys think :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin**

**A/N- Sorry for the wait guys, but I'm done the semester now WHOOO HOOOOOO! Man, that was a tough couple of months.**

**And thanks so much for the reviews! I really, really, reeaaaaalllllyyy appreciate them :D**

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When Camelot came into view, the morning had not yet passed. The sun was almost to its midday position above the gently swaying treetops and no one had spoken since they had set off. Edward and Timond had been sneaking glances at Merlin the closer they got to Camelot and almost always looked at Arthur afterward. The prince had not looked back once and where his back was stiff, Merlin's was slumped.

They were traversing a well worn path leading to the main gates when the sound of a galloping horse thudded into everyone's hearing. All of them flung their thoughts aside and focused on the shock to their silence. For the first time since last night, Merlin perked up. He straightened his back and flicked his alert eyes ahead- still ready and willing to protect his prince.

The rider was approaching fast and Arthur called for his men to halt. Just as they readied their hands on their swords, a knight of Camelot rounded the corner. Dark eyes widened and Elyan pulled sharply on the reins of his startled horse. It whinnied loudly and reared but the dark skinned knight hung on to the saddle and calmed the beast down.

"Sire!" he yelled relieved and the panic in his eyes receded somewhat.

"What is it?" Arthur asked at once and guided his horse into a trot.

"Your father," Elyan panted, "he ordered Gwaine to be executed!"

"What?" the prince demanded brusquely.

"Just- you have to stop him! There's no time!" the knight appealed. Without waiting, he turned his horse around and started galloping to the city. Arthur followed at once with the rest close behind. Lancelot shared a distressed glance with Merlin as they chased after the prince.

Their horses thundered over the terrain and soon the city was looming above them. Arthur had overtaken Elyan and was leading the way to the courtyard. Camelot's streets were quiet and sparse with people and everyone could hear the eerie silence over the clatter of hooves tromping across cobble stones. The courtyard was soon upon them and was packed with people. Lancelot immediately looked to the center and the sight made his blood run cold. The executioner was standing on a raised platform looking at the man at his feet.

"Cowardice in the face of combat is a crime punishable by death," proclaimed the strong voice of King Uther. He was standing on his balcony wearing his night clothes under a heavy cape and his hair was askew. But his voice was unerring and passion intact. "This knight will answer for his dereliction of duty with his life, and let it serve as a lesson to those disloyal to Camelot!"

Gwaine lay slumped over the block, clearly injured even from their vantage point. The knight looked to be barely conscious and seemingly oblivious to what was going on around him.

"Make way!" Elyan's shout shot like lightning through the hushed crowd. They looked back and parted immediately, making room for the prince who galloped straight through. Percival, Edward, and Timond hurried after to keep the crowd away while Lancelot chased after Merlin who did not hesitate in following Arthur.

"Stop!" the prince bellowed.

The executioner was already stepping back once he saw that Arthur was speeding toward him and the man's bare and beefy arms dragged the axe backward, away from Gwaine. The crowd erupted into murmurs and watched attentively as their prince vaulted onto the platform from his horse, placing himself into his father's view.

Merlin followed close behind and dismounted less gracefully. He rushed toward Gwaine and crashed onto his knees before the knight.

"Father, what is the meaning of this?" Arthur shouted to the king. Merlin was quick to assess Gwaine, marking the bandage across his head and the way his chest was rising shallowly. He immediately searched for Gaius with panic growing in his belly.

"Arthur!" Uther greeted with surprise. "Where have you been?"

The prince exhaled in disbelief. "Father, you... I request an audience with you at once."

Uther was silent for a moment before visibly scowling. "You see I have business to attend to, this knight must be punished."

"The knights are under my jurisdiction and I will punish them how I see fit. Please, father, it's urgent!"

"This is _my_ kingdom!" the king snarled, "mine!"

Arthur raised his hands gently. "Of course, your majesty. I only meant that such a thing is below you. A king should not trouble himself with such matters."

The whole courtyard held in their breath as Uther fell quiet. Then, "Yes, yes, I trust you, Arthur. I'll be waiting in my solar. Do not keep me waiting." He turned abruptly and his cape swung around his shoulders. Even when Uther retreated inside no one in the courtyard spoke.

Arthur immediately looked back but stilled upon seeing Merlin. His attention was soon captured by Gwaine though, who was now being supported in the warlock's arms. Gwaine's eyes were closed and breath was stuttering sharply through his lips.

"Merlin!" Gaius' voice called, gaining attention of the two men. The physician was bustling toward them trailed by two guards, one which was carrying a stretcher.

"Hurry, Gaius," Merlin shouted, his voice startling the prince. Gaius increased his pace and Arthur stepped back to give him room.

"What happened?" Arthur requested when the physician hurried by him to kneel beside Gwaine.

Gaius let out a sigh while he opened the knight's eyelid and peered inside. "A misunderstanding. Arthur your father needs you right now."

The prince nodded and habit had him looking at Merlin. Their gazes met for less than a second. "Will Gwaine be alright?"

"He is in a bad way, Arthur," Gaius replied softly and motioned for the guards to approach.

Arthur gritted his teeth. "I have faith in you, Gaius," the prince told him before leaving the platform and hastening to the castle.

Once the prince left, the citizens packing the courtyard began to disperse. Merlin did not notice though. "Gaius?" he called fearfully.

The physician focused his pale eyes on his ward. "If we are to save him we need to act quickly, go get everything ready." The guards arrived with the stretcher and Merlin helped them to adjust Gwaine onto it. He could not resist staring at the blood starting to leech through Gwaine's clothes, at the paleness of his skin, at the way his chest rose irregularly. At his friend.

Merlin nodded and without looking back he sprinted to the physician's chambers. He made his way in half a daze and relied on muscle memory when he got there. Merlin scrambled to make the patient's cot and recklessly used magic to summon all the herbs and tinctures Gaius would need. Just as he turned to face the door, Gaius burst through it with the guards at his heels.

Gwaine lay boneless on the stretcher and Merlin forced the fear shooting up his throat back down. He prowled to the side and watched the guards lay Gwaine on the bed.

"Thank you, now out!" Gaius barked at them when they stepped back from their task. The guards nodded and withdrew from the chambers. Not two seconds after they were gone the door flew back open and Lancelot rushed through followed by Percival and Elyan, each hauling buckets of water.

The next few moments seemed like they stretched on for hours, he and Gaius worked feverishly to save Gwaine who was weakening despite their efforts. Lancelot, Percival, and Elyan waited anxiously against the wall, staying out of the way and not speaking for fear it would distract Gaius. When it was clear Gwaine was only getting worse, Gaius stepped back heavily.

"What?" Merlin demanded fearfully.

Gaius looked at him with sad eyes. "The only thing we can do now is make him comfortable," the physician said gingerly.

"No!" Elyan cried out. The rest were silent, even Merlin who was just staring at Gaius. "You have to save him!" Merlin looked down at Gwaine, one of his closest friends. His chest was still rising but his breathing was laboured and now that his chainmail was off, the wounds the knight had tried to stem were stitched but gruesome looking.

"Gaius there must be something you can do," Percival appealed.

Merlin set his jaw and hiked his chin, taking a step forward to stand over Gwaine. Gaius' grey eyes flew to Merlin and watched him with dread. "Not Gaius," said Merlin calmly.

The warlock raised his hands above Gwaine's chest and ignored Gaius' shout. "_Ic þe þurhhæle þin licsare!_" he growled.

Elyan gave an audible yell of surprise but Merlin paid him no heed and instead watched as the wounds on Gwaine's chest faded and his breathing strengthened. The knight took a deep breath and sighed, earning a small smile from Merlin.

"What- what just happened?" Elyan asked in a raised and slightly high pitched voice. Merlin turned slowly to look at him, almost surprised that he felt his stomach squirm nervously at the shocked look on Elyan's face.

The warlock found he could not respond but was saved from needing to by Percival. "He used magic to save Gwaine. Is he alright now then?" Percival craned his neck and could no longer stay still. He made to stride to Gwaine but stopped when his movement caused Merlin to flinch.

Silence pervaded once more, all the occupants in the room unmoving until Gaius shuffled to Merlin's side. Elyan took an uncertain step backward but was halted when Lancelot placed a hand on his shoulder.

"There is no need to fear, Elyan. Merlin is our friend," he told the other knight.

Elyan glanced back at Merlin who had his head turned to the side, examining Gwaine and avoiding eye contact. He licked his lips and swallowed nervously, taking a few moments to speak. "He has magic," Elyan said quietly.

Merlin looked back at Elyan with no expression on his features. The dark skinned man met his eyes and searched deeply into them. It was Percival who spoke. "And he has just saved Gwaine. Relax, Elyan, this is Merlin here." The warlock blinked at the tall knight and something akin to bewilderment settled upon his face. Percival noticed and offered Merlin a self conscious grin. "Will he be alright?"

Merlin blinked slowly. "Em. Yeah. Yes... you don't... mind?"

Percival shrugged. "Makes no difference to me."

"You must not tell anyone," Gaius finally snapped and wrapped a gnarled hand around his ward's arm tightly.

Elyan glanced into the physician's threatened eyes but was saved from replying by the door careening open. The prince stepped through and immediately sought out Gwaine, and in doing so missed the panicked and conflicted looks sent to him by Gaius and Elyan.

"How is he?" Arthur demanded and strode forward, taking care to keep distance between he and Merlin. When he got close enough, he froze to stare at Gwaine. His light eyes searched the knight's form, confused to find him looking absolutely fine.

"I healed him," Merlin announced to Arthur.

Gaius sucked in a horrified gasp, looking like his heart had missed a beat. Arthur immediately rounded upon the warlock with a hardened stare which caused Gaius to increase his grip on Merlin's arm.

"You dare use magic here?" Arthur intoned dangerously.

"I dared to save Gwaine," Merlin countered unrepentantly, "he was dying."

Arthur could not form a reply fast enough and Elyan jumped into the conversation. "Wait. Arthur knows?" he asked incredulously.

By now Gaius had grown exceedingly pale, something which Merlin took notice of. Arthur gave a slight flinch and looked around to Elyan. His eyebrows rose and he looked back to Merlin. "What is wrong with you!"

Merlin just looked away from Arthur, choosing to lead Gaius to his bed and help him sit down. It made Arthur cross to see more of Merlin than a sorcerer in that simple action, but he could not deny that this topic of conversation was taking a toll on the old physician. So the prince attempted to swallow his anger and turned his attention on Elyan.

"Elyan," he sighed, "can I trust you not speak a word of this to anyone?"

Merlin looked surreptitiously at Arthur and then Elyan who managed a nod. "Yes, Sire," the knight answered. He was still confused but no one was inclined to enlighten him.

The room grew quiet while Arthur rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Will Gwaine be alright, Gaius?" he asked the physician warily.

Gaius blinked rapidly before answering. "Y-yes Sire... Arthur, Merlin-"

"I do not wish to discuss the sorcerer," Arthur interrupted loudly. His voice made everyone in the room except Lancelot cringe. The dark haired knight tightened his jaw and did his utmost to make his silent disapproval felt.

Merlin lowered his gaze to his feet, keeping the hurt etched on his face hidden. Gaius straightened slightly, but did heeded Arthur's wish and did not speak.

The prince blew outward through his nose and cleared the emotion from his face. His jaw ticked, perhaps from seeing Merlin while looking at Gaius. "I think it's best if you tell me what happened." Arthur gestured to Gwaine and waited.

The physician glanced aside and nodded before meeting Arthur's gaze. "I was tending to your father, he seemed...better."

"How so?" Arthur demanded.

Gaius sighed. "He knew you were out of the city, I suggested he take more of a role in ruling the kingdom again. I was convincing him to listen to petitions when Sir Leon ran up." He then glanced at Gwaine for a moment. "He informed me that Gwaine and Sir Henry returned from their patrol and that they needed my help straight away. The king was curious and followed. I am sorry to say Sire that Sir Henry passed away from his injuries and the rest of the patrol are unaccounted for."Arthur pressed his lips together and nodded for Gaius to continue. "I do not think your father recognized Gwaine, but since he was the only one of the patrol to make it back, he took it to mean that Gwaine had failed in his duty."

Arthur let out a short sigh before muttering quietly, "and decided to execute him." Gaius did not need to reply and the prince started to pace. "My men can still be out there."

"Sire, you are needed in Camelot now more than ever," Gaius stated in a tired voice.

Arthur stared at the old man, visibly taking his words into account. After a long while in silence, Arthur turned to the knights. "Elyan, Percival you will ride out at once with Sir Leon." The two men stole glances to each other and Arthur did not wait for them to respond. "Lancelot it will be your task to keep the sorcerer in line."

Merlin could not hold back a flinch, seen by everyone but Arthur who was looking anywhere but in the warlock's direction.

"The sorcerer," Lancelot ground out, "has a name."

Arthur turned a glare upon the knight with the anger and hurt in his eyes unable to be hidden. He then regarded Merlin, looking twice his age as their eyes met. "Remember, you are not to leave the city. And keep yourself scarce, I have no wish to look upon you," Arthur spat.

"Yes, Sire," Merlin uttered hollowly in a small voice.

The prince nodded and lingered for a moment before sweeping out of the room. When the door slammed closed, Merlin let his carefully balanced features fall. But no one was privy to the anguish flooding his face or tears erupting in his eyes because he rushed to his room and closed the door behind him.

Gaius and Lancelot exchanged glances before the knight nodded to Merlin's room. Gaius needed no further incentive and hurried after his ward. The physician left the knights in an awkward silence and found Merlin curled up on his bed.

"Merlin?" he called softly.

The warlock made no response, and did not react when Gaius sat laboriously beside him. No words were exchanged until Gaius laid a hand on Merlin's trembling shoulder. He managed a shuddering breath and gripped his knees tighter. "What do I do now, Gaius?" Merlin whispered.

His words were muffled and Gaius had to take a moment to work out what he said. The physician kept his voice calm despite the terror he felt. "Sit up, Merlin."

The boy he viewed as a son did as he asked. Merlin stared tearfully at him and the despair within his eyes made Gaius pull him in for a hug more forcefully than intended. "It will be alright, my boy. It has to be," Gaius said with the utmost conviction. This was the boy who had blundered into his life and gave it a new meaning, the boy Gaius could now not live without. And Gaius would not fail him.

* * *

Camelot's marble halls were quiet. The few servants brave enough to venture through the corridors did so on light feet, fearing any noise would upset the calm that had settled over the castle. But none dared to even be seen in the passages near the king's chambers, where Uther was now bellowing to the top of his lungs.

"Do you think we should go in there?" Timond asked hesitantly, and glanced to his companion.

Edward shook his head. "He wouldn't hurt the prince," he answered.

They were standing down the hall, within view of the king's chambers and the guards that looked like they wanted to do anything but stand outside. Timond glanced out a nearby window to the night outside, almost disbelieving that the day had already passed.

"I admit," he said quietly so only his friend could hear, "I was considering going to the king about..."

Edward nodded. "Not now."

Timond bit his lip and tried to crush the urge to pace. He leaned toward the older knight and whispered, "What should we do? Doesn't the king have to know? I mean there is a sorcerer in _Camelot_."

Edward turned a glare on the dark haired man. "Keep your voice down," he hissed. The knight then grabbed Timond and dragged him back out of view from the guards. They retreated into the shadows of the pillars lining the hallway. Edward sighed and scratched his bald head. "I do not think that Camelot would benefit from the king discovering a sorcerer in his midst."

Both men frowned heavily and Edward continued. "As much as it pains me to say, Tim, the king is too volatile right now. We'd likely have another purge on our hands if he found out about Me- the sorcerer."

Timond nodded slowly. "He almost had Gwaine killed."

"Yes, and he is one of us."

Edward fell silent and Timond was left with none of the answers he sought. "So we will wait? Just let Merlin roam free?" he asked helplessly. The knight then groaned and ran a hand through his hair. "I can't believe this of him."

"We have to convince Arthur to at least banish him. No matter what we thought he was, he is a sorcerer... He is the enemy." Timond nodded and followed Edward when he led the way back toward the king's chambers. There was no more shouting coming from behind the door and that meant that the prince might be leaving soon.

"I'm glad we don't have to tell the king," Timond blurted. He then swallowed and glanced away from the older knight who made no response. They waited for a good deal longer before the man they were waiting for came into sight.

Prince Arthur exited the king's chambers and nodded to the guards who let him by. His face was calm but his eyes narrowed when they found Edward and Timond waiting. Neither knight spoke, but they bowed when Arthur approached them.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded and breezed by them, expecting them to follow.

Timond and Edward exchanged glances before the older knight spoke. "Sire, we needed to speak to you."

Arthur did not glance back but his back straightened. "We will talk in my chambers," he said after letting them wait a few moments. His acquiesce to talk brought the knights little relief, especially not when they concluded their tense walk to the prince's rooms.

Arthur politely held the door open for them, an action which made Timond start to sweat. They entered and the prince stood by the door, clearly anticipating this conversation to be a short one. "Say your piece," he offered lightly. There was no trace of the fury boiling in his eyes evident in his voice. "This is about the sorcerer, is it not?"

"My lord," Timond appealed with a bent neck, "we don't think he should remain in the city."

Arthur did not reply so Timond slowly looked up and wanted to look down again when he met the prince's unyielding stare. When Arthur drew in a breath to speak, Timond stared back down at his feet. "And do you mean banishment or execution?" Timond looked back up in surprise and could not find an answer right away. "Well?"

"I- I-" He tried to get a read on Arthur's state of mind but there was no clue to be found in his blank expression. So Timond took a deep breath and settled for honesty. "I would not see Merlin executed, Sire, but-"

"Do not speak his name," Arthur informed him vehemently. The blank mask that the prince constructed slipped for a moment and revealed pain.

"Sire," Edward called gently, "do you think it wise to keep the sorcerer in Camelot?"

Arthur scowled at them and let go some of the control he had on his anger. "He can be kept under watch here," he seethed.

"But my lord," Timond appealed, "he threw you without a single _word_. He is dangerous!"

"If he hasn't hurt me by now, he's not going to," Arthur answered loudly. Those words made him freeze for a moment but he glared at the two knights who were considering his words. "He will remain under watch. And believe me, the moment I feel he is a threat to this city, he will be taken care of. Understood?" The prince was breathing heavily through his nose and pinning his knights with a fierce stare.

"Yes, my lord," Timond said.

Edward bowed. "We will not speak a word, your highness."

Arthur nodded and was able to reclaim a calm exposure. "Good. I am trusting you not to go to my father about this. Do not throw that away." The two knights were quick to agree and when they did, Arthur growled at them, "Now get out."

Edward followed Timond out and they walked in a hushed silence all the way to the knight's wing. They stopped when they reached Sir Edward's chambers and before the older knight entered, he turned to the younger. "Arthur cannot think with a clear head regarding this matter."

"Edward, we promised," Timond explained.

The bald knight waved his hand. "I know. We will watch the sorcerer, it's the only thing we can do now." Timond narrowed his eyes at what the knight was not saying.

"You think the magic will corrupt him," Timond guessed.

Edward sighed and grimaced, not speaking for a few seconds. "I don't know."

Timond licked his chapped lips. "Magic corrupts," he breathed.

"I don't know," Edward repeated. "I remember..."

"What is it?" Timond pressed.

The older knight looked around at the empty hall before speaking under a whisper. "I was a boy when magic was banned. I remember when magic still lived in Camelot."

Timond did not know if he wanted to hear more. "The king says that all those with magic are evil," he parroted. When Edward stared at him to let him think, Timond spoke hesitantly. "It is true though, what Arthur said. Merlin hasn't hurt anyone yet, and how long has he had magic?"

Edward nodded. "We will give him the benefit of the doubt by watching him. If there is any reason to be concerned for the prince's safety, we will have to step in."

Timond frowned. "We won't kill him though?"

Edward gave him a wry look. "He threw the prince without speaking a word. I think it is us who would have to worry about being killed." The knight then bid Timond goodnight and entered his chambers. But the younger man stood outside it for a long while, just staring at the wooden door. It had never occurred to him that Merlin would kill them, that he was dangerous yes, but a murderer? Timond eventually found his way to his own chambers and somehow managed to get his chainmail off. He sank into his bed with his sweaty clothes still on and fell into a fitful sleep that was full of pyres and birds.

* * *

**So did people like it? Love it? Hate it with a fiery passion? Hopefully everyone enjoyed, and please drop a review :) I'll get the next update up as soon as I can. **

**Also, only two episodes of Merlin left! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I'm going to be the saddest person ever when it's done. Oh, and I think I said a while ago, maybe in a Fractions note (I'm not done with my drabbles btw, to any of you who may be wondering), that Merlin is probably going to reveal his magic at the end ep.12. I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that it will happen. So when it does... called it. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own BBC Merlin**

**A/N- Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Enjoy! **

* * *

There was a certain quiet about night time that Gaius enjoyed. He sat at the main table in his chambers thinking furiously over what to do about Merlin and Arthur, but unable to come up with any solutions. The physician sighed and glanced to the dinner in front of him- he was hungry but Merlin was not back yet from wherever he and Lancelot had went and Gaius wanted to make sure his ward ate. Before he had long to wonder, his ward burst through the door and let it slam behind him.

Merlin dropped onto the bench across from Gaius and reported, "He wouldn't see me." He glared at the food in front of it but did not touch it. Gaius did not have to ask to know that Merlin meant Arthur.

Gaius uttered a small sigh. "I'm sure he just needs time, Merlin. I am proud that you went to see him though."

"I've given him time," the warlock said loudly, "I've left him alone for two weeks now, I just-" Merlin sighed and combed his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what to do." The warlock leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table, still letting his head hang in his hands.

"You could start by eating your dinner," Gaius suggested.

Merlin glanced up at him then blinked at his chicken and tomatoes before mumbling, "I'm not hungry."

The physician frowned heavily. "But you need to eat, Merlin," he said sharply, "Arthur will come around."

"I'm actually surprised he didn't have me executed."

"You're his friend. He wouldn't do that."

Whatever Merlin had to say he kept it to himself. He stood up a moment later and stalked to his room, and didn't turn back when Gaius called him. The physician sighed and looked sadly at Merlin's uneaten dinner. This hadn't been the first meal that Merlin had skipped, and it was showing. The boy was losing weight and Gaius was sure he was not sleeping well.

He had tried to let Merlin sort it out for himself but the sight of the plate across from him convinced him that it was time to step in. Gaius sighed and reached to cover Merlin's plate with a napkin on the slim chance that he would come down and eat it later. It took Gaius a while in silence to come up with a plan to help Merlin and Arthur forgive each other and eventually he came up with one. The physician frowned at such an underhand tactic but decided that it was the only way. Gaius rose from the table and cast a longing glance at his own dinner which he would not eat in order to help convince Merlin that he was ill tomorrow. If he pretended that he was not well enough to go to the council meeting tomorrow, Merlin could go in his stead. It was the only thing Gaius could think of to get Merlin and Arthur in the same room together.

The physician sank into his bed and hoped that his plan would work.

* * *

When the sun rose the next morning, so too did Merlin. His pale eyes squinted against the screen of light peeking through his shutters and he sighed. Sleep had been harder to find than usual- he reckoned he didn't get much with all his tossing and turning.

"Oh well," Merlin muttered and got himself out of bed. His movements were sluggish at first but by the time he changed his shirt and searched for an apparently missing neckerchief, he was feeling slightly better.

Merlin climbed down into the main chambers and stared in surprise at finding that Gaius was still sleeping. He decided to go through his morning routine as quiet as he could but when he noticed that the physician's untouched dinner was still on the table, it made him halt.

"Gaius," he called. The old man did not stir which sent his already unsettled stomach squirming nervously. "Gaius!"

Merlin hurried to the old man's side and immediately shook his shoulder. He could not contain a sigh of relief when Gaius jumped and looked around wildly. The old man blinked at him and relaxed into his bed. "Merlin," he yawned, "you startled me."

Merlin shifted where he was standing. "You didn't wake when I called you."

Gaius squinted at him and craned his neck to look around the chambers. He started to sit up slowly and Merlin took note that he was trying not to grimace. The warlock hovered by him and held his arm out but it was waved away. "I'm fine, Merlin," Gaius said. His voice did not inspire confidence as it was far more quiet than normal. "What time is it?"

"Just past dawn," Merlin answered slowly, "what's wrong, Gaius?"

Gaius leaned forward but did not get up. Merlin watched as he braced his arms on the bed and tried again. But he gave a small laugh and glanced at his ward. "I suppose I am just a bit tired."

"You're ill," Merlin stated worriedly, "just sit here. I'll- I'll get you something to eat." The young warlock took a short look at Gaius before speeding off to the cupboards. His back was facing the physician so he did not see the shrewd but guilty look sent his way. Merlin found a bag of oats but realized that they had no water. He paused and took a quick look at Gaius who was staring downward at nothing. Merlin then found a pot and whispered an incantation under his breath, both relieved and worried when Gaius did not notice him using magic to fill the pot with water. Now sufficiently worried, Merlin sped up the cooking process and had a bowl of oatmeal in Gaius' hands in no time at all.

"Thank you, Merlin," Gaius said but did not raise the spoon to his lips.

"Gaius, you need to eat," Merlin told him. "Why didn't you have your dinner last night?"

The old man tilted his head noncommittally. "I lost my appetite. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

Merlin bit the inside of his lip and before he was going to press Gaius to eat again, the physician turned to him. "You must be hungry, Merlin."

The warlock opened his mouth to deny that he was but thought better of it. "A little, actually," he said with a smile and got up. "Mine's on the table." Knowing that Gaius usually always waited to eat with him and that he would not appreciate being hovered over, Merlin went to the table where he placed the pot. Gaius watched him as he ladled out a bowl for himself and started to eat.

They entered a staring match and before long Gaius sighed and began eating as well. It did not make Merlin feel better when the physician did not get up from his bed, and worse when after he finished, Gaius looked to him and said, "I don't think I'll be able to attend the council meeting today."

"Then you shouldn't go," Merlin advised seriously.

Gaius frowned and looked around for something. "I need to give Arthur my report," he muttered.

Merlin saw that the physician was going to try to get up again so he quickly opened his mouth. "I'll go," he volunteered, "I can give Arthur your report. Where is it?"

"Are you sure, Merlin? You'd be taking my place in the council." The warlock nodded and stood up, waiting for Gaius. "...I think it may be on my desk."

"Alright." Merlin strode over to Gaius' desk and found the report right in the center, cleared of any bottles and vials that surrounded it. "I'll look it over." He brought it to the table and set it down before going to Gaius and placing a hand on the old man's forehead. The physician let him and looked expectantly at Merlin when he didn't move.

"You don't have a fever, that's a good sign," Merlin reported and stepped back.

When Merlin only stared at Gaius with a worried crease in his brow, the physician smiled at him. "I will be alright Merlin, do not worry. Now, the council meeting is in half an hour."

Merlin nodded. "If you are not better by tonight, I'll heal you," he said, then walked back to where he placed the report. He looked to Gaius to end any protests but surprisingly, the physician said nothing. Gaius offered Merlin a smile before he lay back down on his bed, facing away from the warlock.

"Thank you, Merlin," Gaius bid.

"Of course," Merlin said quietly. He scrutinized the old man for a moment longer but reluctantly looked down at the pages in his hands. After familiarizing himself with the information Gaius had collected throughout the city, he set off for the council chambers with a heavy feeling sitting in his stomach. He wondered how the prince was going to react when he saw that Merlin was taking Gaius' place. As he walked, his nerves grew and he entered an internal debate with himself.

Guilt had been becoming as familiar to him as his boots but now resentment was growing the longer the prince ignored him. Despite deceiving Arthur, Merlin didn't have a choice in the matter if he wanted to protect the prince and still keep his head. But with a grimace, Merlin reminded himself that he _did_ betray Arthur's trust. And even though Morgana's betrayal was still fresh in Arthur's mind, Merlin did feel that he was owed at least a chance to explain himself after everything that he'd done for his friend. By the time that Merlin neared the council chambers, he was sufficiently conflicted.

Before he turned the final corner he had to stop. The room had been rebuilt since Morgana had destroyed it but he had not ventured here to check its progress. He swallowed, remembering the last time he had entered the chambers. It had been a victory but a narrow one. As Merlin moved forward he had the strongest urge to sneak around the corner like he and Lancelot did two months ago. But the only thing around it was Camelot's guards standing at the entrance. They looked to him as he approached but did not move.

Merlin cleared his throat and said to them, "I'm here in place of the physician." He raised the stack of papers in his hands pointedly. The two men traded glances but stepped aside and opened the door. He had the passing thought of telling them to inform Arthur that he was here but Merlin thought that the prince could do with a surprise. Merlin thanked them a little too graciously and walked by them and into the chambers.

His cobalt eyes tracked to the wall Morgause threw him into and he could have sworn his left arm twitched. Merlin's gaze was then brought to the men and women sitting at the handsome mahogany table in the center of the room. Not all the council members were here but the five who were all stared curiously at him. Everyone knew that something had happened between he and Arthur, but he gave them a cheery smile.

"My lords," he greeted with a bow, "my ladies." His greeting was predictably unreturned so he sat down at the end corner of the table- the spot furthest from the other council members and where Arthur would sit.

Merlin occupied himself by scanning the repairs that were made to the chambers. The ceiling had been fixed but in place of the pillars that had crumbled were columns of scaffolding. There were other rooms available to use but Merlin had suggested to Arthur weeks ago to reclaim the use of this one when he could- as a sort of statement. The warlock was surprised that Arthur had not changed his mind.

The sound of ostentatious throat clearing had him looking curiously to the councilmen. "What are you doing here, boy?" Lord Mander demanded in his reedy voice. He was an elderly man, with a wide and thin mouth that caused him to resemble a toad. When Merlin had attended these meetings with Arthur, he would always ribbit under his breath when the lord was around. The first few times Arthur had heard him, he had burst out laughing.

Thinking of it prompted a sad smile to form on Merlin's lips. "Gaius sent me to take his place," the warlock met Lord Mander's eyes and answered.

Mander opened his mouth but shut it abruptly when the door started to open. Merlin's eyes flew to the entrance but he relaxed when he saw that it was Gwaine to saunter through. The knight was smiling tensely, clearly uncomfortable but he stopped in pleasant surprise when he spotted Merlin.

"Merlin!" he hailed loudly.

The warlock grinned and stood up. "Gwaine"

When the long haired knight continued toward him without acknowledging the other occupants of the room, Merlin twitched his head to the side and beckoned with his eyes. Gwaine stopped beside Merlin and smoothly smiled at the councilmen.

"Good morning, fair ladies and gentlemen," he trilled. "I am thrilled to be joining you today." Since no one could see him, Merlin smirked at Gwaine.

"Sir Gwaine," some of them murmured.

When he plopped into the seat beside Merlin, the warlock followed suit. "I didn't know you were a council man," he teased.

"Arthur wanted a fresh perspective from the knights or something. So here I am," Gwaine declared. "I didn't figure you for one either, mate."

Merlin looked down at the table. "Gaius is ill. I'm here in his place."

The knight immediately frowned. "What's wrong with him? Is he alright?"

"I don't know. I hope it's just a passing sickness," Merlin answered. In the back of his mind, the warlock desperately feared that his surrogate father was just getting old.

Gwaine sensed his veiled distress and clapped his shoulder. "I'm sure he will be fine, Merlin. I mean this is Gaius."

Merlin attempted a smile. "How is your recovery going?"

The knight rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair so he could rest his feet on the table. His behaviour was frowned on by the council members but none of them said anything. Everyone tended to walk on eggshells around Gwaine ever since King Uther tried to have him killed.

"You realize you ask me that every day?"

Merlin only shrugged. "If I realized the extent of your injuries I could have-"

"You and Gaius did enough," Gwaine interrupted stridently, then carried on quietly when Merlin let his lips fall closed. "You saved my life, Merlin." The force of his stare caused Merlin to nod his head and look away. Unlike Arthur, Gwaine had pieced together Merlin's secret quite a while ago which had been more of a surprise than Merlin could handle when he found out. He sent Gwaine a grateful smile.

In the past two weeks, it had been Gwaine, Lancelot, and Gaius keeping Merlin going. The knight was aggressive with Merlin, as opposed to the other two, and had made himself available as a verbal punching bag. The warlock remembered with a wince that he had told Gwaine absolutely everything. Merlin had held nothing back and the knight now knew things that not even Gaius was aware of. It was not a moment that Merlin was proud of but Gwaine had proven himself a truer friend than Merlin dared hope. _More that can be said for Arthur_, Merlin thought snidely but immediately felt like the scum of the earth.

He reigned in a sigh, allowing Gwaine to distract him with frivolous conversation until the rest of the council members showed up. Lords Clement and Ridley soon strolled in, led by Lady Rita. They were younger than the others at the other end of the table but each had grey in their hair. Merlin felt them eye him suspiciously but the presence of Gwaine clearly deterred them from addressing him.

The nobles exchanged greetings with each other, even Gwaine who Merlin convinced should be on his best behaviour. Uncomfortable silence filled the hall but it was no relief to Merlin when the doors opened to admit the last two of their number. Arthur strode in followed by the court genealogist, and Merlin was the first to rise out of his chair. He stumbled upward, his palms starting to sweat and his stomach falling into his boots, unintentionally drawing Arthur's gaze. His stride did not break though his eyes widened but he did not speak until he stood at the head of the table. Arthur was trailed by a manservant who took Merlin's place behind the prince's chair. The warlock felt a pang of jealousy and dislike for the older man despite being on friendly terms with him.

"Thank you all for coming," the prince welcomed the old nobles and motioned them to sit down. Merlin reluctantly found his seat and staunchly met Arthur's cold stare when it was turned to him. "Where is the court physician? He should be here, not his ward."

Gwaine growled under his breath and the other council members stared between Arthur and Merlin with wide eyes. Geoffrey alone seemed unaffected by the tension, merely curious to Merlin's answer.

Merlin gritted his teeth but kept his tone calm, unwilling to play Arthur's game. "He is ill, Sire. He sent me in his place."

"Too ill to attend to his duty?"

Merlin was taken aback at the prince's ruthlessness. He started to gape openly at Arthur before glaring at the grain on the table's surface. "You know Gaius, my lord. And you know that he would be here if we were able," Merlin said quickly.

Beside him Gwaine was bursting to say something but a kick from Merlin silenced whatever words that were no doubt best left unsaid. Arthur kept his face emotionless but Merlin could see he was unhappy. The prince sat down without saying anything and looked to Lord Mander, dismissing Merlin who had half a mind to ribbit and see what Arthur would do.

But the warlock only pressed his lips together and leaned back in his chair, stealing a petulant glance at the prince. Merlin had thought that when Arthur knew of his magic, that he'd feel somehow lighter. That the pressure of his keeping his secret would be lifted from his shoulders. But it had only been replaced by the weight of Arthur's hurt and his own shame. At least before, he and Arthur had been friends. The only consolation was that Merlin had not been executed which was starting to seem less like a consolation as the days drifted by.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he missed the start of the meeting but luckily no one but Gwaine noticed. Merlin was content to not speak until spoken to but his will crumbled when Lady Hestia suggested Arthur raise taxes to fill the declining funds in the treasury.

"The people can't afford it," Merlin declared and was the immediate subject of a glare.

"Your opinion is not relevant, boy," she reprimanded him as though he was an unwanted toddler speaking gibberish.

The warlock bit his tongue when he should have kicked Gwaine. The knight leaned forward in his seat and glared down the table. "I'm sorry," he stated pretentiously, ignoring Merlin calling his name in warning. "But Merlin here has a seat at this table, which means that his opinion is just as _relevant_ as yours. Actually I'd say it's m-"

"Thank you, Gwaine," both Arthur and Merlin interrupted him.

The warlock did not meet the look Arthur gave him and only glanced upward when he was no longer the subject of it.

Lady Hestia's glower disappeared and she fixed a simpering smile for the prince who started speaking to her. "I will hear no more of taxes or cut wages, the people or the farmers cannot afford it... He is right."

It was Gwaine's turn to kick Merlin when the warlock's mouth dropped open. He averted his light eyes, slightly ashamed of himself. He exhaled quietly but deeply- if Arthur could put their dispute behind them for the council meeting, Merlin figured he could too.

"Now, Sir Gwaine," Arthur called, "what of the bandits roaming the Northern Plains?"

"Gone," the knight reported, "there haven't been any sightings since Elyan scared them on his last patrol."

Arthur nodded in a pleased manner. "Good. And have there been any more disputes with Essitir?"

Gwaine grimaced. "Not since..." he then gestured to himself. "But I should mention that some farmers in the Darkling village said that some sheep had gone missing. Maybe a pig too."

"Wolves?"

Gwaine shrugged. "Could be. I sent a small patrol to check just in case."

Mutterings broke out between Ladies Hestia, Rita, and Agnes and one of them hissed, "The arrogance!" The prince ignored it however and thanked the knight who shot a snide look to the ladies.

There was a moment of hesitation before Arthur regarded Merlin who all of a sudden felt inexplicably tongue tied. "I asked Gaius to assess the wellness of Camelot's citizens. Did he accomplish this task?"

Merlin nodded to buy himself a second of time. "Yes, Sire," he answered. His voice sounded strong which booted his confidence back to normal. "Gaius says that there has been a small outbreak of Rheums in the lower town. It isn't as contagious as Dun Fever which left untreated, Rheums could develop into."

"So bad news?" Gwaine wondered.

"No," Merlin was quick to answer, "as long as I keep it under control, there is nothing to worry about."

"And are you able to do that?" Arthur asked him.

The warlock nodded. "There are not that many people who are ill. I have a list of them here if you need?"

Arthur inclined his head and Merlin was going to rise to give the sheet to him but Hogarth, the prince's new servant rushed toward him. The older man smiled at Merlin who was only able to hand the paper to him dumbly. He sniffed and gritted his teeth before realizing that Arthur could see his every move.

Merlin cleared his throat and said, "Gaius has already started treating them to prevent their symptoms from worsening. I'm to administer more treatment later today."

"Make sure you keep it under control," the prince advised.

"Sire," Lord Mander ventured before Merlin could reply, and then laughed. "Surely a peasant boy cannot be trusted to handle such a delicate matter. He looks ill himself-"

"_Gaius_ is ill," Merlin interrupted, pronouncing his words very slowly.

Frog face pursed his wide lips and rose out of his seat to confront Merlin. Nearly everyone in the room rolled their eyes.

"Sit down, Mander," Geoffrey sighed. "Merlin is the physician's ward. Next to Gaius, he is the best suited person to attend to their treatment."

Mander glanced to Arthur who was eying him with distaste and he primly sat down, avoiding looking in Merlin's direction. Gwaine snickered quietly. "I was kind of rooting for a fight," he whispered to Merlin.

The warlock spared Gwaine a disparaging but regretfully amused glance before waiting for Arthur's decision.

"That should conclude the council meeting," Arthur proclaimed, "would any one wish to discuss another matters?"

Merlin's dark eyebrows shot upward, a little surprised that Arthur was trusting him to prevent a disease from spreading in the city. The warlock was quite ready to forget his resentment to Arthur in the face of his apparent trust. It was a start that Merlin would seize if he could.

"Your highness," Geoffrey hesitantly put forth, "Sire I think it is time you assumed the regency."

The old man's declaration was met with silence. Arthur stared at a spot on the table while the council members and Gwaine shared uneasy glances, momentarily allied in their unease. Merlin was focused on Arthur who tensed his jaw. All here knew that the prospect of Uther reclaiming his rule was growing slimmer by the day.

"Who else feels this way?" Arthur demanded.

"I do," Gwaine voiced at once.

"I think we are all in agreement, my lord," Lord Clement said. The prince scanned the table and everyone but Merlin nodded their heads.

Merlin's lack of motion prompted Arthur to look at him so the warlock offered a small smile. "You know what I think, Arthur," he stated gently.

The prince did not look away from Merlin for a long while, as if trying to find something in his gaze. Arthur nodded and stood up, signalling the end of the meeting. "This decision must not be made lightly," he asserted.

"But made all the same," Geoffrey reminded him.

Arthur did not appreciate the comment but said nothing to the court genealogist. "Thank you all for coming," he said, then started walking toward the doors. The council stayed where they were but after regaining his senses, Merlin chased after the prince.

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**Jacqs- That's fair. I don't think he's very confident though because he constantly doubts himself. Well when he's threatened, he seems to be all bad a$$ but other than that, not so much. And it's hard it figure how Merlin would act in this situation, like Arthur is the guy that Merlin basically lives for and he knows that he has hurt him. And even though Merlin has gone through hell to protect Arthur, he always puts Arthur before himself. I dunno... Hopefully he seems more IC in this chapter. Thanks for reviewing :) And Merry Christmas!**

**Guest- Haha sorry! I'll go as fast as I can lol. Thanks for reviewing, and Merry Christmas! **

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**The reason I'm not commenting on the last two episodes is because I haven't seen them. I KNOW, the horror right? I've had them downloaded the second they were available but I haven't had the chance. There's family over now, so I'm crying inside. Srsly, Merlin has been on my mind constantly for days now. I've dreamt about it. **

**Also, I might not have internet access around new years so I'll have to update in 2013! I'll have more time to write though. I hate not having chapters written in advance. **

**Anyways, thanks for reading, folks. I hope all your holiday festivities were great!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer- I don't own BBC Merlin... unfortunately. **

**A/N- Happy New Year, guys! **

***I'm putting my thoughts on the finale at the beginning just to get it out of the way. Skip if you haven't seen it!***

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**SPOILERS BELOW**

**So... Merlin is over... Let the spoiler tastic rant begin! I mean it beware of spoilers. Alright, if it were not for the wonderful cast of Merlin, the show would not be so awesome. Because frankly, the writers have really disappointed. How the show should have ended was Arthur uniting the bloody kingdoms and you know ACTUALLY BEING THE GREATEST KING THE LAND HAS EVER SEEN. He what, reigned for 5 years? Around there? I call Bullcrap. However before I go on, I should say that if the plan was to kill Arthur, that was probably the best ending we could have gotten. It goes without saying that Colin Morgan's and Bradley James' performances were outstanding. Also, why couldn't we get **_**young**_** Merlin being all bada$$ with the magic? That was another huge let down. If he was going to reveal his magic, why bother being old? Stupid. STUPID. **

**Anyway, I like Gwen and all but I didn't want HER to legalize magic and rule a golden age in Camelot. That ship has apparently sailed though. AND GWAINE! WTF! Stupid writers, he should have gone down in a blaze of heroic glory. OH and what was with 'no mortal blade' being able to kill Morgana? And the fact that Merlin is immortal really, REALLY ( I want to use bad words btw) makes me mad. Very mad. Seriously, someone dropped the ball. **

**Right so Colin Morgan said that fans could be unsatisfied with a movie, but seriously, how much more unsatisfied could we get? Now I'm starting to understand why they were apparently talking about doing to series reboot. Which is stupid because the show already happened. The writers or producers or whoever already fudged it up. **

**I don't hate the ending. But I'm not acknowledging the fact that Arthur died. The whole season could have been done so much better. For instance Merlin should have been stepping out of his role as servant in Season 4. Good thing there's fanfiction and us sensible writers out there. **

**I think the biggest thing I'm upset about though is that there won't be anymore Colin Morgan and Bradley James against the world. I really do hope that in the future they can act opposite each other again. Yeah I can't wait until they get new jobs so I can watch them again!**

**SPOILERS ABOVE**

**There! Now enjoy! I feel like I'm forgetting another thing I'm upset about but oh well. I still love Merlin more than I'll ever love another show. **

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Merlin made it out the door before they closed and saw Arthur striding down the hall with his long dark coat flowing behind him.

"Arthur!" Merlin called a little too loudly.

The prince came to a stop but did not turn until Merlin was almost half way to him. He wore an expression like he was going to war, which should not have caught Merlin off guard but did. Hogarth looked between them uncomfortably and took an indecisive step back. The silence that grew between them was heavy with strain, thicker than the humid air of an approaching storm.

Merlin nervously clenched and unclenched his fists, flicking his eyes to Arthur's new servant before settling on the prince. "We need to talk."

"Don't you have duties that need tending to?" Arthur asked harshly.

Merlin unsuccessfully contained a flinch. "I- we need to talk."

"No," the prince said, "we don't." He turned back around and started to walk away but Merlin went after him without thinking. He circled around Arthur and stopped in front of him, forcing him to stop as well.

"Please listen to me," Merlin appealed.

"Get out of my way," Arthur growled. Hogarth started to bite his nails but was unnoticed by either man.

Merlin didn't know what to say, he only knew that he needed to get through to Arthur. So he shook his head.

"I could have you arrested," Arthur snapped.

Merlin narrowed his eyes. "Why don't you?" he countered fearlessly.

"Don't test me, Merlin," the prince hissed.

The warlock blinked in surprise that Arthur called him by name but he was determined. "I need you to listen to me. _Please, _Arthur."

"I am your prince. I will not ask you to move again," Arthur said and Merlin could tell by the way his eyes flashed that it was not one of the hundred things he really wanted to say.

So the only movement Merlin made was to raise his chin. Arthur straightened and carried on his way, shoving his shoulder into Merlin's to clear the path. It wasn't even unexpected, nor the first time Arthur shoved him, but for whatever reason, Merlin was knocked off balance. He stumbled backward and lost his footing, landing ungracefully on his bottom.

"What do you want from me?" Merlin shouted after him.

Arthur whipped around, his mouth already open to say something but he cut himself off when he saw that Merlin was on the ground.

"Get up," the prince barked.

Merlin scowled at him but readied himself to do as Arthur asked. He uttered a miniscule sigh and braced his hands on the cold marble floor. The warlock was taken by surprise when Arthur suddenly raced toward him. He did not have time to react before Arthur gripped his collar and hauled him upward. Merlin must have lost more weight than he thought because he flew off the ground and would have fallen forwards if Arthur didn't roughly settle him on his feet.

The prince glared into Merlin's eyes with his hands still clutching the younger man's shirt. He recognized each emotion that flashed within Arthur's eyes and was stung at the pain that so clearly shone in them. Guilt made Merlin's stomach turn and he looked down in defeat.

Arthur shoved him away and this time Merlin didn't fall. The warlock looked up to Arthur, looking as apologetic as he could. His remorse was unwanted by the prince who abruptly turned on his heel and walked away. Merlin just quietly watched him go, oblivious to the sympathetic look Hogarth gave him.

A hand landed on the warlock's shoulder but he was too tired to be surprised. It could have been an assassin but Merlin didn't care. Luckily it was only Gwaine.

"He'll come around, Merlin," the knight said to him, "he's just being a giant prick. I'll talk to him."

Merlin shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn't muster up the effort to respond to his friend so he only turned around and started walking back to the physician's chambers. Gwaine followed him which Merlin was grateful for. The knight was strangely silent, choosing to watch Merlin in the corner of his eye rather than chance breaking the fragile strength Merlin was carrying himself with. He was right to be wary, for the warlock made it only past the courtyard when he stopped walking.

Gwaine took a peek around them to see if they were alone in the stone corridor. Upon finding they were, he turned back to Merlin with an apprehensive look on his features.

"What was I supposed to do?" Merlin ground out, his voice quieter than his controlled breaths. He was staring at the floor and waited for an answer with his jaw clenched closed.

Gwaine knew what he was asking and floundered for a response. "Exactly what you did, Merlin," he eventually said quietly.

It was exactly what he should not have said because Merlin snapped his head up and glared at him so heavily that Gwaine drew back. Merlin breathed out sharply in disbelief and was going to speak his mind but turned away when his lips quivered. He clasped his hand over his mouth before bracing his palms on the wall nearest to him.

"Merl-" Gwaine jumped when Merlin punched the wall with the side of his fist. He was expecting a dull slap, not the distinct sound of cracking stone. The warlock stayed motionless a long while but then placed his hand calmly at his side, letting Gwaine view the indent in the wall. Pieces of the stone crumbled to the floor, watched only by the knight who Merlin turned to.

His cobalt eyes were lifeless and greyed with guilt, his posture slumped, the very air around him was downtrodden. Gwaine's lip curled bitterly. Before him was a resigned old man, not his friend. Not fully in control of his actions, Gwaine surged forward and slapped Merlin across the face.

Merlin's head whipped to the side and he cried out in surprise. He looked back to Gwaine in shock and held a hand to his stinging cheek. "You slapped me!" His expression and tone were stunned.

"Go on then, hit me back," Gwaine invited, "do to me what you did to that wall."

Merlin blinked rapidly at him like he had grown two heads. "What are-"

"Get angry, damn it!" Gwaine seethed and grabbed his shoulders. Merlin let himself be shaken. "Or do something! You're just taking it and taking it, Merlin. Well enough. You've done enough for Arthur and this bloody kingdom that you can be given a chance to say your piece. Make him listen!"

"I can't," Merlin said quietly, still not moving away from the tight grip on his shoulders.

"Can't or won't?" Gwaine threw back.

Merlin shook his head. "You don't understand," he said.

"I understand that this has gone on long enough," Gwaine responded and then scoffed, "you've already forgiven him haven't you?"

"I'm the one to blame," Merlin told him and finally shrugged off the knight's hands. Merlin's eyes flashed with a steel that Gwaine hadn't seen in a while. "I did this. Whether or not Arthur forgives me, it's his choice. It was always going to be his choice," he sighed. "I only hope he does."

The knight straightened his back and looked unhappy. He shook his head before turning on his heel and storming back down the hall.

"Gwaine!" Merlin called and chased after him, managing to grab his sleeve. "Gwaine! You mustn't tell him anything." He hung on when the knight jerked his arm back. When Gwaine made a skeptical face, Merlin said, "This is between me and Arthur."

"So while he gets over himself, we just have to watch you waste away? Is that it?" Gwaine demanded.

"I'm not wasting away," Merlin said impatiently, letting go of Gwaine's shirt.

"Look at yourself, Merlin!" the knight yelled, "You're not eating, you're not sleeping, you're driving yourself into the bloody ground. Why do you think Gaius is sick? He's worried about you!"

Merlin's eyes widened slightly and he blinked at a loss for what to say. "I..."

Gwaine closed his eyes momentarily, regretting his words. "This needs to be resolved, mate," he sighed, "Now, why don't we go check on the old codger?"

Merlin nodded, seemingly out of fight. He followed Gwaine who took the lead but it wasn't long before the warlock couldn't hold his tongue. "I never meant for –"

"- I know, Merlin," Gwaine interrupted and looked back, "it isn't your fault."

The warlock said nothing in response and kept his eyes on the floor until they got to the physician's chambers. Merlin hurried past Gwaine to the door and wrenched it open, then sped into the room. Gwaine followed but ran into the warlock who had stopped walking just a pace from the door. They stumbled and Gwaine was set to be worried until he spotted Gaius turning away from his work table to greet them. His russet eyes assured him that the physician did not look ill at all. The old man was standing just as straight as he usually did and he was neither pale nor bed ridden.

"How did the meeting go?" Gaius wondered.

Merlin spluttered. "Gaius, you- you're feeling better?"

The physician smiled at his approaching ward. "Quite, it must have been a passing- what happened to your face?" Gaius squinted at the vivid hand shaped stain on Merlin's cheek. He glared at the mark and scowled heavily.

Gwaine cleared his throat. "I, uh, slapped him. Not Arthur," he admitted wincingly.

Gwaine was the subject of a delicately raised eyebrow. Gaius stepped forward and scrutinized Merlin's cheek, even tilting his chin up with his fingers. The warlock allowed it and did some scrutinizing of his own on his guardian.

"Did it work?" Gaius asked Gwaine dryly, withdrawing his hand.

The knight smiled guiltily while Merlin frowned. "I think that remains to be seen," Gwaine replied.

The dark haired warlock looked away irritably, focusing on what Gaius had been working on when they entered and immediately glared in recognition. "What are you doing, Gaius?" he demanded wearily.

"Preparing remedies for those sick with Rheums," Gaius answered and walked back to his work table. "I need you to go get some St. John's Wort, I am running out."

Merlin strode resolutely after the physician, dismissing Gwaine who started to stroll around the chambers. "Alright, but _I _will treat the sick. You were ill, you need to rest."

Both Merlin and Gwaine noticed the annoyed look that passed over Gaius' features. "I am fine now, Merlin," he sighed, beginning to grind dried leaves in the small bowl he was holding into powder. "Did you give Arthur my report?"

"Yes. But, Gaius, please, just let me do this," Merlin appealed. The physician looked around at his ward and let go of the pestle.

Gwaine had to walk around the table to see that Merlin had creased his brows over large eyes, unintentionally begging. His expression mixed with the bruise on his cheek meant that Gaius would have had to be completely ruthless to say no.

The physician uttered a long sigh. "Alright, just for today."

Merlin smiled triumphantly and went to whisk the mortar and pestle out of Gaius' hands. "I will go to them as soon as I finish this. I'll pick up the herbs after. Was there anything else you needed?"

"No," Gaius said as he handed his ward an exasperated look. And then another when Merlin eyed him carefully. "I'm fine, Merlin. Really."

The warlock forced a small smile and nodded before turning away and focusing on grinding the herbs. Gaius turned and regarded Gwaine questioningly and the knight winced. He sauntered over to Merlin and leaned over his shoulder curiously. Used to it, Merlin did not even look back but he did hand the bowl to Gwaine in order to reach for the basin of water Gaius had prepared.

"Oh, Gwen was looking for you," Gwaine mentioned to the younger man after returning the bowl. Merlin's eye brows raised a fraction but his lips remained still. The warlock focused on stirring the powdered herbs into the water, very clearly trying to ignore the knight. "She thinks you're avoiding her."

Gaius watched them from the corner of his eye as he made a poultice for the bruise on Merlin's cheek. Seeing that he was unnoticed by them, he whispered an incantation to freeze the cloth in his hands. That along with the mint, elderflower, and borage inside would help the inflammation. While the bruise wasn't swelling, it was not fading either, which told the old man that Gwaine hit Merlin hard but held back a substantial deal. Surprising since Gaius knew exactly how frustrated the knight was getting.

"She attacked Lancelot, the poor bloke was traumatized," Gwaine carried on airily, "he said he managed to run away though."

The glance Merlin gave the knight read disbelief. "I'm not avoiding her," he said.

"She came here earlier," Gaius told him, advancing to the warlock. Merlin tried to crane his neck to avoid the poultice the physician was holding out but Gwaine helpfully took it and held it to the warlock's cheek. Merlin sighed through his nose but since he was using both hands to rock the basin, he had no choice but to allow it. "She thinks you are angry with her."

"What?" Merlin asked alarmed, "why would she think that? Did you tell her I'm not?" He put down the basin and took the poultice from Gwaine, keeping it to his cheek.

"Because you've been avoiding her," the knight supplied just before Gaius responded.

"Of course I did. But she knows that something happened between you and Arthur, and since they're _together_, well she thinks you are unhappy with her by proxy."

Merlin looked upset at the news. "I'll have to find her then," he sighed in disgust at himself. Whatever else Merlin wanted to say, he kept to himself- a skill he was employing more often as of late. But his jaw was ticking furiously with the effort.

To distract him, Gwaine sniffed the contents of the basin. His nose wrinkled at the spicy scent that was starting to fill the warm chambers. Whereas before, Merlin would smile with amusement, now he only looked mildly interested. "Open the window, would you, Gwaine?"

"Certainly," he said briskly and sauntered off to do as asked while Merlin retrieved some vials. Gaius watched him bottle the mixture and called out unnecessary instructions. Gwaine looked back amusedly from peering out the window and met Merlin's patiently exasperated glance.

"Alright," the warlock said after he finished bottling the mixture. "I'll go to the lower town now."

"Merlin!" Gaius called, stopping the warlock on his way to grab the other materials he would need. "Aren't you going to have some lunch?"

"Oh yeah," Merlin said, looking like he really had forgotten it was just past noon. The corners of his lips lifted but Gwaine wouldn't call it a smile. "Yes, I'll have some."

The knight nodded contentedly and Gaius looked pleased. The physician immediately went to fetch their uneaten dinners from last night. Taking it as his cue to show up late for a training session, Gwaine bid them farewell. "I'll see you gents later," he said to them when he got to the door.

"Yes, goodbye, Gwaine. Remember to inform me if you become dizzy again," Gaius bid.

"Gwaine," Merlin called after the knight nodded to Gaius. "Please don't go to Arthur." An intense curiosity entered Gaius' grey eyes but he fended off his questions until after the knight left. Gwaine scowled and did not speak right away. "Please"

"Am I allowed to tell him how much of a wanker I think he is?" Gwaine spat.

Merlin smiled a little. "I think it's best if you leave him be."

The knight shrugged before grinning rakishly and disappearing out the door. He poked his head back through less than a second later though. "I'm sorry about hitting you, Merlin. I'll make it up to you." And before Merlin could object, Gwaine was gone again.

* * *

Evening was approaching Camelot at a sluggish pace, the spring days becoming longer. Soft wind breathed over the city, only slightly pacifying the two knights strolling along the battlements. They were moving stiffly and stopped when the younger one made time to stretch. He groaned and flopped his arms over the wall. Now that they were far enough out of earshot of others, Timond turned to Edward. "Well that was interesting," he said sarcastically.

In response Edward rotated his shoulder and winced. "I wonder what happened," he said, referring to why Arthur would force such a grueling training session upon them.

"I wish I knew," Timond griped, "I thought he was starting to let up."

Edward grunted noncommittally. "Judging by how Gwaine went at him, I think something to do with Merlin."

Timond shifted uncomfortably upon mention of the sorcerer. "Do you think he will be punished?"

"Gwaine?" Edward asked incredulously, turning away from watching the road below. It led to the west gate which was guarded by two guards. "No, it was a fair fight."

"It looked like he wanted to kill the prince though," Timond pointed out. "I feared he was going to until Percival stopped him."

The bald knight shrugged. "He was angry."

They fell quiet, each occupied with their own thoughts. Crows were perched on a nearby tower, watching them without interest. It was Timond who broke the silence. "Have you seen Merlin recently?"

"No," Edward admitted. "I don't think he has come out of his chambers."

Timond straightened and uttered quietly, "Hm, speak of the devil."

Edward followed his gaze downward to see a shadow stretching down the path. Merlin came into view, striding along the gate and then toward the forest. "I'm following him," Edward said and left Timond hurriedly. The younger knight looked conflicted but settled back to lean against the short wall, recognizing that he hadn't been invited. His sigh was lost amongst the screeching of the crows.

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**Vlevvy****- Thank you! That's quite a compliment. Yeah, I've got no choice now but to make myself feel better about the finale. I'm very happy this is helping you too :)**

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**So was that satisfactory? I'm fond of this chapter so I hope you guys are too :) Stay tuned for the next one, and please remember to tell me what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: In case you were wondering, I don't own BBC Merlin. Or gain profit from this (wouldn't that be great though?) **

**A/N- Thanks for all the reviews guys! You're all awesome! Hope you like the chapter :D**

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Midday sun beamed into Arthur's chambers, warming the room with a cheer that the prince felt distant from. His lunch waited in front of him but he had no desire to eat it. So he stared at it, not feeling motivated enough to rise from his chair. Hogarth stood behind him, waiting for an order as quiet as a mouse. Arthur scanned his room moodily, noting the way the floor gleamed, the table shined, and the whole bloody area gleam with cleanliness. It was far too sterile for the prince's taste but he did not open his mouth to ridicule the servant. In fact, he hadn't said a word to the man that he didn't have to since Hogarth entered his service.

The prince leant forward to rest his head on his hand, his new vantage point enabling him to see the way sunlight gleamed on the silver goblet above his laden plate. Arthur extended his other hand slowly, curling his fingers inward in preparation for sending the cup flying. It gave him a twisted satisfaction to sense the middle aged servant cringe and for a reason Arthur did not have, he unfurled his hand and rested it on the base of the goblet.

"Would- would you like something else to drink, my lord?" Hogarth asked cautiously.

Arthur listened to the silence grow as he refrained from replying. The servant's gulp was audible but he wisely did not try to speak again. Arthur's eyes narrowed as an unwanted thought flitted through his head. _Merlin would have cuffed the back of his head for his behaviour._ Thinking of his former servant was like taking off a bandage to a bleeding wound. The prince shot up and wheeled around to tell off Hogarth in an attempt to distract himself, but just as he did the door to his chambers opened. Arthur's eyes widened but he did not see the severely alarmed servant stumble backward.

The prince recognized the swaggering footsteps immediately, and his face took on an annoyed cast. Arthur turned, curling the fingers of his right arm which was so sore it was difficult to move. Thanks to the knight taking up space in his chambers. Gwaine came to a stop in front of the table, frowning and with his chin held prudishly up. Arthur did not greet him for the sole purpose of making the knight angry.

Gwaine narrowed his eyes at Arthur before taking a short calming breath. "You and I are going to talk. And unlike Merlin, I'm not going to roll over."

If Arthur wasn't already standing, he would have risen from his chair. "It is none of your business, Gwaine."

"Well I'm making it my business. Whether you like it or not," the knight snapped. "I've had enough of this."

"_You_ don't understand," Arthur seethed.

Gwaine laughed humorously. "Funny, that's exactly what Merlin said."

Arthur readied a retort but bit his tongue. "And what exactly did Merlin say?"

The long haired knight seemed relieved he asked but did not reply right away. He flicked his eyes to Hogarth and mentioned, "Perhaps it's best we talk alone?"

Hogarth jumped and without waiting for Arthur's say, hurried towards the door. "Yes, of course my lords," he rushed, "I'll be in the hall, Sire, if you need me." Gwaine let him pass and soon he was alone with the prince.

"He wanted me to leave you alone," the knight drawled, his deprecating tone letting Arthur know exactly how well he thought of it. "But I can't stand seeing him like this. Or you, mate."

The prince immediately narrowed his eyes defensively. "I'm completely fine."

Gwaine's severe expression did not alter at Arthur's lie. "Who are you trying to fool?"

"What do you want?" Arthur growled.

"I want all this to stop. Are you going to talk with him or not?"

The prince almost told Gwaine the truth. That he wasn't ready, and that he was scared of the answers he would receive. Ignorance seemed the best option and fear kept his fury in check.

"If you aren't then there's no sense of him being in Camelot," Gwaine said. Arthur heard the threat for what it was.

"He is not to leave the city," Arthur hissed.

Gwaine shook his head. "I'm not going to watch him be your prisoner, Arthur."

The prince felt like he'd been slapped. "He's not. He's not my prisoner," he denied.

Possibly sensing weakness, Gwaine paced boldly forward. "Prove it then." Arthur scowled and let the knight continue. "Give him a chance! You owe him that!"

"How am I supposed to do that?" Arthur demanded furiously, slamming his fists on the table.

"Forgive him," Gwaine rounded on him, "Bloody well talk with him!"

Arthur walked away from the table but did not know where to go. "It's not that easy!" he yelled, "I can't!"

"Well buck up, princess. Because it's only a matter of time before Merlin makes another mistake."

Arthur frowned and spat tetchily, "Well he's kept it secret for four years now."

"He's been _lucky_ for four years," Gwaine corrected. Aware that he now had Arthur's attention, the knight continued in a calmer manner. "You know him. You know how stupid he can be."

"But I don't know him," Arthur protested harshly, "I thought I did. But I don't."

"Don't be an idiot," Gwaine told him. "Merlin is the same as he's always been."

The prince laughed sadly. "How can I believe that?"

"You haven't executed him have you?" Gwaine pointed out. "Why are you being like this?"

"Because he is a sorcerer," Arthur ground out.

Gwaine scowled heavily, running out of patience. "That excuse is growing thin."

The prince eyed him before going to his seat at the table. He sunk into it and Gwaine waited for him to speak. "He thought I was going to kill him," Arthur said blankly to the window. "I trusted him. And after everything, he thought I was going to kill him."

Gwaine too claimed a seat. "What was he supposed to think? You never gave him a reason to think otherwise."

"He was my friend," Arthur said without thinking but carried on despite the mistake, "I thought I was his too."

"Arthur," Gwaine groaned, "the both of you, I swear." He leaned forward and made sure Arthur was looking at him. "If you gave him a chance to explain, you'd never doubt him again."

The prince's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Gwaine tapped the side of his temple. "Think. Believe me, you'd never have survived this long if it hadn't been for him."

Arthur had done his utmost to not think about it. All he had to do was remind himself that Merlin had lied and all his doubts would be shoved aside. It hurt. The fact that he had been lied to by his closest friend for years hurt him worse than...worse than anything. He had thought that after Morgana, Merlin was the one person he could count on. He had cared deeply for both of them, but had trusted them when he should not have.

"Arthur?" Gwaine's voice broke him out of his brooding.

"Find him," the prince heard himself say.

Gwaine did not wait for Arthur to change his mind. He scrambled out of his chair and craned his torso out the door, calling for Hogarth. Gwaine set the servant to finding Merlin and came loping back to Arthur with a large grin on his face. The prince did not share his relief, and was left to regret his decision. _Well_, Arthur thought, _there's no going back now._

* * *

Merlin ventured through the forest, completely unaware he was being followed. Edward stalked after him, starting to marvel that the sorcerer hadn't realized his presence. He followed Merlin, not truly believing that he was going to run but was still a little thrown off when he started picking herbs. Edward watched him for a long while, warding off thoughts to take care of the sorcerer while he had the chance. His back was turned and he was completely unaware. But those urges hardly lasted for more than a second before Edward would stomp on them. The young man he followed bore every resemblance to the servant he knew before, if anything he seemed more like a shadow. Edward was prone to thinking, some even said too much- and Edward sometimes thought he did. He usually enjoyed it, but now he wished he was more simple minded. Because after almost three weeks of mulling it over in his head, he believed that Merlin was telling the truth about being Arthur's friend. But he did not know why. What his reason was or if he had one at all.

The sun was sinking when Merlin had filled his satchel and was working on digging up a plant that looked hardly different from a weed. The warlock's hands were stained with dirt and Edward heard him mutter incomprehensible curses when the plant stubbornly remained rooted in the ground. Merlin struggled for a little longer before he succeeded in his task. As he was placing it in a pocket of his bag, Edward emerged from the trees to walk towards him. Merlin's head snapped up at the sound of his footfalls and vaulted up from his crouch. He stumbled backwards but righted himself, going still when he recognized Edward.

Merlin flicked his light eyes through the trees before settling back on the knight. Now that Edward was close to him, he was shocked at how much the servant had changed. Arthur's sneaky ways of getting the boy to bulk up were for naught- Merlin's clothes were now hanging off him like drapes and his face was becoming gaunt. The new way his cheekbones were popping out and the hollow shadows below his eyes made Edward uncomfortable. "You lost weight," Edward noted.

Merlin frowned. "A little."

The knight's lips skewed from the effort of holding back a scoff. Merlin could not have looked less like a sorcerer.

"Was it the prince who hit you?" Edward asked, eyeing the bruise on Merlin's cheek.

"No," Merlin answered suspiciously. "You followed me. Why?"

Edward did not reply right away. "I wanted to know why you were still here. In Camelot."

"That's all?" the sorcerer asked, still caught off guard by the situation.

Edward nodded. "You're a sorcerer. A powerful one. You could be anywhere yet you chose to live in the place that one mistake could get you killed," he said, narrowing his eyes intently. "And your secret is out. Now more than ever you are in danger. From what I see before me, I don't think you would put up a fight if the prince tried to execute you."

"Is that a threat?" Merlin did not move but Edward sensed he was readying himself for a fight.

"No, I'm only trying to understand," the knight appeased quickly.

"I wouldn't let Arthur execute me. He still needs me," Merlin told him, not interested in being forthcoming.

Edward stared at the sorcerer in disbelief. He could not get his head around it. Merlin had not even been born in Camelot, and had only known Arthur for four years. "Why are you so loyal to him?"

Merlin breathed out sadly. "Would you not do anything for your friends?" he asked in answer.

The question coming from Merlin's mouth and the honesty in which he said it convinced Edward completely of the sorcerer's allegiance. "This must be hard for you," the knight stated. Merlin's outward appearance and his worn out behaviour were evidence of that.

"I have to believe that he will forgive me," Merlin said mildly.

Edward fell silent, for the first time feeling pity for a sorcerer and finally coming to understand. "I know that the prince needs you, he hasn't been the same since. But I never imagined that you would need him as well."

As much as Merlin tried to appear stoic, it was plain to Edward that he had hit a nerve. But Merlin did not avert his injured eyes or slump his shoulders, he only stood there and bore his burden silently.

"I'm grateful the prince has you, Merlin. And I'm sure he will come around soon enough," Edward let Merlin know.

The sorcerer blinked in surprise and almost smiled before he shook his head. "He's too angry," Merlin said quietly but Edward still heard the hope in his voice.

"He will have questions. I'm certain more than I do," Edward voiced, "He will want to know the truth soon enough."

Merlin looked at him as though he was trying to find conviction in those words. "Thank you, Sir Edward. For-"

The knight raised his hand to cut Merlin off. "I have a feeling I should be thanking you instead."

Merlin only smiled bashfully and a strange silence fell upon them until an owl hooted in the distance. Both of them looked upward through the trees to see that they had missed the sunset and the sky was turning from vermillion to blue. "It's getting late, we should get back to the city," the warlock noted.

Edward nodded his agreement and turned to lead the way back. Merlin followed and they made their way without talking. They just stepped foot inside the courtyard and automatically looked to the only other figure inside. Lancelot noticed them at the same time and stopped walking so abruptly that Merlin thought he was going to fall over. He soon resumed his hurried pace and strode towards them. The knight's face was devoid of its usual warmth and his eyes were locked on Edward.

"I don't think he trusts me," the bald knight mused and slowed to allow Merlin to greet Lancelot first.

Both of the men increased their pace, the knight even placing a hand on his sword. "It's alright!" Merlin called and held out his hands as a placating gesture.

Lancelot was going to say something but shut his mouth upon searching Merlin's face and stopping at his cheek. "It was Gwaine," Merlin was quick to say.

"Gwaine?" Lancelot repeated sharply.

"Yeah," Merlin answered, with confusion colouring his tone. Lancelot was agitated and on edge, not making any attempt to cover up his anger. "Did something happen?"

"Both you and Edward were missing," Lancelot replied without taking his eyes off the other knight. "I was looking everywhere for you. _Arthur_ was looking for you."

Merlin's stomach flipped and he felt his face pale. "Arthur? For me?"

Lancelot eyed Edward unfavourably before turning a calmer gaze on Merlin. "Yes. I suggest that you both go find him. He was not happy to find the two of you gone."

Edward walked up to them and stopped. Before he could explain, Merlin rushed out, "It's alright. Lancelot, there is nothing to worry about."

The dark haired knight studied Merlin before turning his stare to Edward, looking angrier rather than appeased. "You will need to convince Arthur of that. What were you doing?"

"Merely talking," Edward replied. If he was surprised by Lancelot's intensity, there was no indication.

The knight took a few steps forward, invading Edward's personal space. "You have no business with him."

"Lancelot," Merlin exclaimed and tried to pull the knight away but his attempt was fruitless.

"I assure you, I mean him no harm," Edward declared.

"You will forgive me if I do not take you at your word," Lancelot said, almost sneering.

"You can trust him," Merlin insisted, "_I _trust him."

Lancelot narrowed his eyes. "Well I do not."

"We are both knights of Camelot," Edward reminded him.

"Yes"

"What is it that you fear Sir Lancelot?" The taller knight wondered.

Merlin too waited for Lancelot's answer. "You are a threat to my friend."

"I'm right here," Merlin informed them annoyed.

"I am not. No matter what you think," Edward maintained, ignoring Merlin.

"Why should I believe you?" Lancelot demanded under his breath.

Merlin stepped between them and pushed them apart, directing both their attentions. "Because he could have killed me and didn't," the warlock said, "I didn't know he was there until he revealed himself."

"So he followed you?" Lancelot asked with dangerous interest.

"I did," Edward answered for Merlin and shrugged his arms. "I was curious."

Lancelot uttered a laugh that sounded foreign coming from his lips. "As to whether he is an evil sorcerer."

Edward bobbed his head vaguely. "I am satisfied that he is not."

Lancelot's eyes darkened but their hushed conversation was interrupted by footsteps running out of the main doors and down the steps. All of them looked to see Hogarth rushing towards him, red faced and out of breath. Merlin attempted to exchange a worried look with Lancelot but found the knight was staring upward to where Merlin knew Arthur's chamber window was. The warlock refrained from looking by examining Hogarth.

The man looked positively harried which Merlin knew to be at odds with his easy going manner. His normally neat hair was awry and peppered with more grey than had surely been there just this morning. Hogarth sprinted the final stretch and bent over, holding his side. He locked eyes with Merlin and attempted speech but had to swallow and take a few more deep breaths before he was able. Merlin could not resist feeling horrible for his previous incivility towards him.

"Prince- Prince Arthur requests you all in his chambers," Hogarth gasped, "at once."

The servant's distress did not help Merlin's any, and the warlock immediately started to fidget. He tried to tell himself that a talk with Arthur was exactly what he had wanted but now that the time was apparently at hand, he was desperately nervous. Lancelot placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, prompting Merlin to nod and lead the way toward the main chambers. He looked up, searching for a familiar figure looking out of Arthur's window and was both relieved and discomfited upon finding it empty. Hogarth followed the three men at a small distance, looking like he'd rather be anywhere than where he was.

"Thank you, Hogarth," Merlin called back to him belatedly. The servant smiled tensely, well aware Merlin was only being polite because there was no gratitude to be found in his tone, only apprehension.

Merlin had never remembered the walk to Arthur's chambers being this long but they finally arrived at the large and all of a sudden intimidating doors. No one made a move to open it besides Hogarth who took half a step forward but ended up biting his nails when Merlin took a deep breath. The warlock raised his hand as if he was going to knock but he ended up opening the door without announcing their presence. Hogarth let out a weak whimper but followed with hunched shoulders.

Merlin led the way with a straight back and stern face, his white knuckled fists the only indication of his disquiet. Inside, the air was practically buzzing. Gwaine was standing rigid with his arms clamped across his chest and glaring daggers at the wall opposite. And sitting at his spot in the table was Arthur, his hands resting imperiously on the table.

Unyielding cerulean eyes looked up at their arrival, centering on Merlin who came to a stop in front of Gwaine. The prince did not speak- his lips were unmoving until he noticed the bruise marring Merlin's cheekbone and then they thinned.

"Thank you, Hogarth. That will be all," Arthur dismissed the servant.

"Yes, your highness," the servant squeaked immediately and was out the door so fast it was almost funny.

The sound of the door thudding shut was a signal for Arthur to stand up. His chair scraping against the floor was like a thunderclap inside the quiet room but caused no one to flinch. Arthur blinked and when he opened his eyes, Edward was their subject.

* * *

**Guest- I'm glad you're enjoying it! Oh and thanks for pointing me to that article, I enjoyed it. It definitely made good points. Poor Arthur and Merlin. I hate the fact that the writers did that to them... jerks. Ok well not complete jerks because they did give us Merlin in the first place. Hmm lol now that's an idea... I might do that... possibly. The muse often doesn't go where I want it to. :) Thanks for reviewing!**

**leonielewis- Thank you! That's quite a compliment :) Despite the whole you know who dying bit, it was a good episode. Sigh, that bromance was awesome. But yeah, thanks for reviewing!**

**Aimee- Lol angry Gwaine is angry. You're completely right, but luckily he's a cool guy :) Thank you for the review, glad you're liking it!**

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**This chapter seemed rushed to me, I'm not sure if it's just me. But thanks for reading, everyone :) Please drop a review :D Also, I think there will be just one more chapter left... lol this fic wasn't supposed to be this long!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own BBC Merlin**

**A/N- Welcome to the final chapter, everyone! I hope you like it and thanks a ton for your support :D **

**Thanks to Paralelsky for beta-ing. A round of applause for her! Srsly, she's the reason for this fic, remember. **

* * *

"Explain yourself," the prince commanded.

Sir Edward licked his lips, but answered as though Gwaine wasn't glaring a hole into his back or Arthur's stare was not heavy. "I followed him, Sire. I wanted to see what he was doing."

Merlin swallowed when Arthur looked at him. The prince's gaze trailed down to Merlin's dirt stained hands and the bag with herbs sticking out of it. He eyed the bruise on the servant's sharp cheekbone which encouraged Merlin to look away.

The prince did not acknowledge him, and only narrowed his eyes at Edward. "Am I to assume the fact he is still living to mean that you are satisfied with what you discovered?"

"It is, my lord," Sir Edward responded. Lancelot stopped Gwaine from surging forward but looked like he wanted to hold Edward while the other knight punched. "He's a good man."

Arthur made no reaction save for maintaining his frown. "I will be speaking with you later, for now you are dismissed."

Edward bowed to him and bid goodbye to all of them. Merlin was the only one to reply, the servant dipped his head and tried to be assured by the smile he received.

"Did he hurt you, Merlin?" Gwaine demanded once the door had shut.

"No," Merlin told him, "we only talked."

The knight did not look appeased but before he could open his mouth, Lancelot spoke over him. "Sire, will that be all?"

Merlin's stomach churned uncomfortably though the fleeting look he gave Arthur was hopeful. The prince was not aware of it though. "Yes, thank you, Lancelot."

"We'll be outside," Gwaine said, and Merlin did not know who it was meant for. The two knights trooped out, leaving Arthur and Merlin alone for the first time in two weeks.

Merlin stared at the closed door, trying to steel himself before turning back to the prince. Their gazes met, each wanting to look away but not moving.

"Sit down," Arthur invited hollowly.

Merlin swallowed but did as Arthur asked. In his haste he stubbed his toe on the table leg and fell into the chair. He cleared his throat, feeling the tips of his ears grow red. Instead of being tempted to study his reflection in the polished table he forced himself to look into Arthur's eyes.

The prince did not speak right away, and the hushed tension grew increasingly oppressive. "_Why_, Merlin?" Arthur's voice was low and tired.

"I had to protect you. You couldn't know about me," Merlin answered quietly. When Arthur's eyebrows stitched together, the warlock burst out desperately, "But I wanted to tell you, Arthur. You have no idea how much."

Arthur shook his head. "You thought I'd kill you."

Merlin flinched but nodded. "Sorcery is against the law."

The prince breathed a grim laugh. "And yet I'm harbouring you."

Merlin looked like he wanted to cry. "I'm thankful. But so, so sorry. You have to believe me."

"...I do. God help me, but I do," Arthur sighed, "I'm not sure I can trust you though."

"I know I lied. I know I betrayed your trust. But, Arthur, I will never betray _you_," Merlin said strongly. There was a tiny pause before Arthur got out of his seat and paced away, directing his back to Merlin.

He stopped and ran a hand through his golden hair. "Was everything a lie? All of it?"

"No!" Merlin cried and vaulted up from his seat. "I'm still the same person. You're my friend, and I'd still do anything for you." The prince turned and regarded him indecisively, appearing as though he wanted to believe him, but not ready to.

"I'm still the same...stupid servant," Merlin sighed, his voice thick with grief. "What can I do to convince you of that?"

Merlin saw Arthur shake his head before he wandered back to the table. The prince rested his forearms on the back of his chair, unable to sit back down. "Tell me why," Arthur said and clarified when Merlin looked confused. "I don't understand. If you thought I'd have you executed, surely you can't think that highly of me. But you still stayed here in Camelot, risking execution to be, what, my servant?" The prince gazed at Merlin, truly puzzled.

"You are the greatest man I know, Arthur. Being your servant is an honour," Merlin said and continued despite the prince's growing discomfort. "It's my destiny to serve you and help you to be the best king Camelot will ever see. I have faith in you."

"Destiny. Faith? That's it?" Arthur demanded.

"You're my friend," Merlin repeated. When Arthur made no move to speak the warlock ventured, "Can I ask you something?"

A defensive hike hardened Arthur's jaw but he nodded his assent. Merlin opened his mouth but took a deep breath instead of speaking. He did it once more before rushing out, "Do you think I'm evil?" The warlock's shoulders tensed and his hands curled at his sides, but he did not avert his frightened gaze from Arthur's.

"No," Arthur answered without thinking much about it, stung that Merlin doubted him so. He waited until Merlin had deflated back into his seat before he spoke. "You said to me once that you'd be happy to be my servant until the day you died."

Merlin looked up and gave a little smile. "That remains the same."

Arthur had to look down for a moment but he looked back at the warlock and said, "I don't want you to die, Merlin." A grin spread on Merlin's face but faltered when Arthur continued in a serious tone of voice. "That is why there can be no more mistakes."

"I promise," Merlin assured quickly, "there won't be, I swear."

Arthur inclined his head and reclaimed his seat. "Gwaine and Lancelot said they have both caught you numerous times these past weeks. And both of them say you've been more lucky than smart in regards to keeping your secret."Merlin looked away moodily but did not have anything to say. "Gwaine seems to think you risk your life for me on a constant basis."

"Well my breathing is a crime, so I suppose that's true," the warlock said to his hands. He began to pick the dirt under his nails, practically screaming at Arthur that he was lying.

"Don't lie to me," Arthur growled. "I've had enough of that."

Merlin snapped his eyes up to him and bit his lip. "I...I... Yes I've nearly died for you," he admitted tiredly, "and I have killed for you. So many people. I see them, all the men and women I've killed who have wished you harm. But in the end, you lived. And that's what matters."

"You've killed for me?"

Merlin's eyes were bright but he nodded. "I'd understand if you think ill of me. My hands are bloody."

Arthur could only stare at Merlin. Then at his hands which were brown with the dirt caked in them. From the herbs he had picked for Gaius. They were not killing hands, and despite having magic Merlin was the gentlest soul he knew.

"So are mine," Arthur found himself saying. "You should never have come to Camelot. I'm sorry."

Merlin shook his head. "Coming here was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't want you to be sorry."

The prince did not reply and felt the first fingers of ice thaw from his heart. After gathering his nerves to ask a question that he knew would push him to one choice or another, Arthur licked his lips."And how many times have you nearly died for me?" Merlin looked away from Arthur and did not speak. "Merlin"

"I lost count." Merlin shrugged.

The prince's eyes narrowed. "How could you lose count?"

"Do you keep track of all the duels you win? There's too many." Any other time Arthur would be pleased at the compliment, but it was the worst thing for Merlin to say. Two weeks of trying to convince himself that Merlin had never been Merlin were forgotten about. The young man facing him across the table was undoubtedly the same idiot he met years ago.

"You think that nearly dying is a victory?!" Arthur exploded. He leapt out of his chair and his face was flushed. Merlin jumped. "Are you mad?"

"No, I think both of us living after _everything_ is a victory," Merlin stated honestly, "you don't realize how much we have overcome."

"No. It's how much _you_ have overcome, and I don't know. Because you never told me! You didn't trust me."

"I do tru-"

"No you don't!" Arthur bellowed, "If you did, you would have told me! If you did, you wouldn't have thought I'd kill you! You wouldn't have lied."

"Arthur-"

"No Merlin, you don't trust me. After everything we have been through." Arthur once again sat down but this time he held his head with his hands. "I want to know more about what you've done for me. But I- you need to leave."

Merlin swallowed the lump in his throat but could not hide the tremor in his lips- Arthur did not see because his head was still bowed. The warlock slowly rose to his feet and drifted towards the door. His cobalt eyes stared at the wood for a long while before he dipped his head to his chest. "Your friendship is the greatest treasure that I will ever have," Merlin admitted. "I couldn't bear it if I ruined that."

The prince looked up to see Merlin open the door and walk through it. It shut softly, but allowed entrance to an exhausted silence. Outside the window, night was drawing in.

* * *

Merlin did not immediately notice the people standing in the hall. It was the call of his name that had him turning around in weary surprise. Lancelot and Gwaine had waited but it was Gwen who hailed him. "Merlin," she said again and hurried to him.

The maidservant looked tired but when she smiled at Merlin it was bright. "No one will tell me what happened." Her dark eyes glistened with concern and she reached her hand up to cup Merlin's cheek. Her thumb brushed over his bruise worriedly.

"Hello, Gwen," Merlin greeted and offered her a smile that only just reached his eyes.

The dark skinned maidservant searched his eyes and bit her lower lip. "You look terrible, Merlin," she informed him unhappily.

The warlock gave a weak laugh. "Thanks"

"How did it go?" Gwaine questioned eagerly. He stepped beside Gwen, crowding Merlin who took a small step back.

"Better than I thought," the warlock admitted. "He's still unhappy with me. But I can't blame him for that."

"Well did you tell him-"

"Gwaine," Lancelot interrupted. "Are you alright, Merlin? We heard yelling."

The warlock looked at him and thought. "Yeah. Better anyway."

Lancelot smiled reassuringly and Gwaine nodded. Only Gwen did not seem satisfied. Her arms were crossed and she stared at Merlin anxiously. "I want to know what happened between you two," she demanded.

"Gwen-"

"No," she snapped. "I can't stand seeing you and Arthur like this. I can't talk to him if I don't know what's going on."

Merlin sighed heavily. "We are working it out, Gwen. This is between us so please don't be concerned."

"See?" Gwaine commented snidely and the maidservant shot him an unappreciative frown in return.

"He needs you right now," Merlin told her. "I'll find you tomorrow, I promise."

Gwen glanced at Arthur's door unconvinced. "I have a feeling he wants to be alone right now." She turned back to Merlin with a smile. "I will get us all some supper."

"Oh," Merlin uttered in surprise, glancing back to the prince's door. "Where's Hogarth?"

"At the kitchens by now," Lancelot answered.

Gwaine snickered. "I told him to get the princess something to eat. I thought he was going to kiss me, he was so happy to leave."

Merlin nodded and looked to Lancelot. "Do you mind bringing this to Gaius?" He asked and held out his herb bag. Lancelot took it at once. "I'll help Gwen."

Guinevere smiled at Merlin and then indulgently at Gwaine who proclaimed a preference for steak. "We will see what we can do," she said.

Merlin and Gwen set off for the kitchens while the two knights made their way to the physician's chambers. Both servants glanced backwards at the prince's door.

* * *

It was late and he was tired but Arthur could not sleep. The prince stood next to the window, lit by the icy moonlight falling in. It hardened the edges of his face and turned his hair to spun silver, cloaking him in pale armour. He could see the courtyard clearly but stared at nothing in particular, going over his and Merlin's conversation in his head. He was rather sick of thinking but his brain, like Merlin, would not shut up. Arthur was still hurt by the lies his friend had spun. But he could not say that he didn't understand why Merlin hadn't told him. Now he was almost grateful, realizing that most if not all of the lucky victories he had achieved over the years were thanks to Merlin- Who never sought any credit.

It took a lot for Arthur to doubt himself, but now he could not understand how he was worthy of such devotion. Especially after ignoring Merlin for the past two weeks and not giving him a chance. The prince snapped his head up, suddenly feeling an unbearable restlessness. He needed to make things right, and hope the younger man could forgive him. He needed to find out what exactly Merlin had done for him.

Arthur nearly walked out the door without any footwear so he hurried back and pulled on his boots. He stumbled putting on the first one, having to hop on one foot to maintain his balance. Content that no one could see him he wasted no time in being embarrassed and carried on with his task. Once fully ready, he strode to his door and wrenched it open only to jump back in surprise when he encountered Lancelot on the other side, with his hand raised to knock.

The two men blinked at each other, Lancelot the first to react by lowering his hand. "Sire," he greeted quietly.

"Lancelot," Arthur replied in kind. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes, I just... I wanted-"

"-I'm going to see Merlin now," the prince interrupted. He looked down and hesitated, wanting to ask Lancelot a question.

"Arthur?" Lancelot pressed. He was regarding his friend patiently with a hint of worry for his demeanour.

Arthur exhaled softly and beckoned the knight into his chambers. When he closed the door he spoke quietly. "The defeat of the immortal army was his doing wasn't it?"

Lancelot shifted but nodded. "He wanted to go by himself. But I didn't let him."

An unsurprised smile formed on Arthur's lips. "When did he tell you then? About his... his magic." His smile fell.

"He didn't tell me. I heard him use a spell to kill the griffin when I first came to Camelot," Lancelot answered.

The prince's eyebrows rose sharply and he made a noncommittal sound. "Why am I not surprised?" he droned. When he pressed his lips together and grinded his teeth, Lancelot appeared concerned when nothing was said. The knight was going to talk but was overridden by Arthur. "Do I deserve him?" Arthur pinned Lancelot with a solemn stare.

"I'm not sure if any of us do," was Lancelot's honest reply. "But we owe it to him to be his friends."

Arthur nodded. "Do you know if he is sleeping now?"

"I doubt it."

"Alright," Arthur breathed and strode past Lancelot to open the door. He left the knight without another word and walked purposefully through the halls and toward the physician's chambers. The prince tread quietly, not in the mood to be seen by the guards. When Gaius' door entered his eye sight, lit on either side by mounted torches, he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Arthur approached the door slowly and inched it open, wary of waking the physician. It opened with a dull groan, and Arthur sidled inside. Moonlight from the closed window trickled in, pale and strangely welcoming. Gaius was snoring contentedly so Arthur was careful shutting the door behind him.

He eyed the closed door to Merlin's room and began sneaking toward it but when he made it past Gaius, he froze. Merlin's door was opening slowly and sooner than Arthur was ready, the warlock poked his head around. His narrowed eyes widened and locked with the prince's. Arthur straightened and waited for Merlin to react. He glanced back into his room before looking back at Arthur and motioning him forward. Before the prince could even nod, Merlin slid back into his room.

Arthur continued his sneaking and moved up the stairs to Merlin's room so quietly he startled the young man. Arthur offered an amused but apologetic smile which Merlin pretended he did not see. The warlock sat on his bed while Arthur shut the door and found a seat at the small desk near the bed. Two candles were lit, sitting on the dresser and warming the room, keeping the shadows at bay in the corners.

"Couldn't sleep?" Merlin asked guardedly.

Arthur shook his head. "I wanted to apologize," he said to the clear surprise of Merlin. "You've done so much for me, haven't you? And I know you have magic but... well you are my friend too, Merlin."

"I thought... I thought..."

"The immortal army, that was you? You were going to go alone?" Arthur asked him suddenly, keen to avoid any sentimentality.

As ever, Merlin did not do what Arthur wanted. "Are you alright then? With me?" Merlin pressed, sounding like he hardly dared believe it.

The prince paused and stared at Merlin before walking slowly towards him. He sat awkwardly on the bed but gripped Merlin's shoulder, making sure they held eye contact. "Yeah, _Mer_lin. I am," he said quietly. Arthur withdrew his hand and fiddled his fingers. "I'm sorry it took so long, can you forgive me?"

Merlin blinked twice before surging forward and engulfing Arthur in a crushing hug. "Thank you, Arthur, thank you, thank you!" The prince completely froze but his arms rose automatically to return the hug. Merlin clung with a strength that matched Arthur's. After containing ridiculous tears that threatened to fall, Arthur laughed cathartically. "Merlin, I'm happy we're all right. But _hugging_ on your bed, I don't want you get the wrong idea."

The warlock laughed unguardedly and drew back with over bright eyes but a stunning grin. "You dollop head."

Arthur smiled back and nudged Merlin, not moving from beside him. They were quiet before Arthur ventured, "Would you ever have told me?"

Merlin looked down at his hands. "Eventually. I admit I was losing hope."

The prince did not like the admission. He frowned but decided he did not want to press the matter. "The immortal army?" he asked instead.

Merlin met his eyes and nodded. "Both of them," he answered with a hint of a smile on his lips.

The prince exhaled and shook his head. He stood up suddenly and paced the short length of the chambers. "Tell me everything," Arthur said intensely, "everything you have done for me and Camelot. I want to know all of it."

Merlin was silent for a long time but Arthur waited. "There are some things that I..." Merlin started but broke off with an unsteady exhale. His eyes turned pained. "There are things that I have done. Things I can't even forgive myself for. I could not expect you to."

"Merlin," Arthur called powerfully, believing every inch of what he was saying, "I have no doubt that the things you can't forgive yourself for, are things that I can forgive you for."

"You don't understand. I –"

"Shut up. I know that whatever you have done, you did with the best intentions. You are a good person. No one can deny that. Certainly not I. We have all done things to protect the people we love."

Merlin looked at Arthur as if he did not recognize him but he looked down and whispered, "If you want me to I will. I'll tell you everything."

Arthur bit the inside of his lip. "One day I hope you can trust me. But until then, I'll wait. I know that some secrets should remain buried." Merlin simply stared at Arthur while the prince strolled back to sit beside him again. "But I'm trusting you to be honest with me now."

The warlock's lips curved into a gentle smile. "I understand. Arthur, _thank you_."

Arthur shrugged and smirked pompously. When Merlin made no move to talk, Arthur grew impatient. "Will you tell me what you have done though?"

Merlin's smile expanded into a familiar grin that took weight off of Arthur's shoulders. "It's a _long_ story."

The prince shrugged. "I'm not tired."

"Good," Merlin said and nodded. "I suppose I'll start at the beginning."

* * *

By sunrise they had migrated to the roof of the castle. The sky was a blend of rosy golds and fiery reds with a turquoise blush scattered among the vibrant clouds. Camelot was below them- ribbons of wood smoke were winding above the houses, and the forest stood waiting staunchly behind the town. Both Merlin and Arthur leant against the short stone wall separating them from the sky. They stood next to each other with an ease that was stronger than ever, letting silence have a chance. It wasn't long though before Arthur turned to Merlin and the warlock commented quickly, "If you try to thank me one more time I'm dragging you to Gaius."

Arthur hid his smile but gave Merlin a light shove. "I would have thought you would run with it."

"Nah, it's too strange. Come on, gratitude from you?" Merlin teased.

"It is a bit of a stretch," Arthur conceded. But his smile faded and he regarded his friend seriously. "You won't have to be alone anymore. We'll protect each other. None of this risking your life for me."

Merlin smiled at the prince but Arthur could see the acceptance in his eyes. That he knew something Arthur didn't. But the prince did know- that Merlin would always place Arthur first. Well, he knew something too. So Arthur let it rest and looked out over Camelot. They stood in contended calm until Arthur bumped Merlin's shoulder with his own. "You think that I'll be the greatest king the world will ever know?" Arthur began with a wry smile, "You know what, Merlin? You're the greatest idiot that the world will ever know."

Merlin snorted and grinned. "I resent that. Everyone knows I'm much smarter than you."

"Please," the prince scoffed and pushed himself away from the balcony. Merlin followed after stretching his limbs dramatically. Arthur yawned and rubbed at his eye before turning to Merlin. "You have the day off, get some sleep. Tomorrow I need to be up before dawn."

Merlin's grin was visible from Arthur's periphery. "I have my job back then?"

"You're smarter than me? Really?" Arthur asked sarcastically.

"What will Hogarth do?" Merlin wondered after laughing.

"Jump for joy I imagine," the prince guessed.

Unbeknownst to Merlin and Arthur, after he was dismissed with glowing praise and given generous pay, Hogarth found the nearest secluded stairwell and really did jump for joy. His victorious laugh echoed up and down the steps heard only by startled mice. After collecting himself, he walked back out calm as ever, only a glint in his eye reading how relieved he was that everything was back to normal.

* * *

**Snowy midnight 942****- Thank you, I'm glad you liked it :D And thanks for reviewing!**

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**The end. Thanks for reading, everyone! And thank you for all the reviews, they are lovely! Again, I really hope you guys enjoyed my take on a reveal. Please tell me what you thought, constructive criticism is always welcome :)**

**Also, if it's not too much. You can vote for Colin Morgan and Merlin at the national tv awards! Heads up, you will need an email address. Not necessarily the one you use (you can make a new one?). But it's for Merlin! Let's come together people! Search national tv awards in google and follow the right link :)**

**Peace out, guys!**


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